With help from Scouts Inc., ESPN.com has compiled a list of each NFL team’s “best play” and illustrated the routes through interactive flash animations.  They’re all interesting, and a few are pretty funny.  The Cowboys animation seems to depict quarterback Tony Romo faking the handoff and then just tripping and falling backwards.  The play suggested to the Falcons seems to require that head coach Mike Smith print it out, hand it to the opposing offensive coordinator, and say, “Listen, this will only work if you guys hold up your end of the bargain.”  And in the Steelers’ animation, the opposing running back appears to see safety Troy Polamalu throttling toward him, say, “i quit i quit i quit,” and conveniently slow to a halt.

If I had the know-how to put these sort of animations together, I’d replace some of them with the following scripts.

Kansas City Chiefs: Offensive line ambles toward the sideline, makes arrangements to buy condominiums in Florida or Arizona.  Running back Larry Johnson takes handoff, plows through for -1 yard, makes the face a two-year-old makes after soiling himself.  Punter Dustin Colquitt, who starts the play at fullback for the sake of expedience, just trots a few yards back and waits for the long snap.

Chicago Bears: Quarterbacks Kyle Orton, Caleb Hanie and Rex Grossman are set in the backfield adjacent to one another.  Center Olin Kreutz arbitrarily long-snaps to whichever quarterback happens to catch it.  Ideally, the incomplete pass or interception will be achieved so quickly that no one noticed who threw it.  Head coach Lovie Smith was inspired to draw up this play after watching a documentary on firing squads, in which all but one marksman is issued a blank.

Atlanta Falcons: Quarterback Joey Harrington takes the snap, runs back to the leftmost hash mark of his own 27-yard line.  Offensive line and receiving corps follow suit.  Harrington exploits obscure code hidden deep within referees’ rule book by taking off his helmet and using it as a truncheon.  He digs a hole no less than two feet deep and buries the football inside.  If executed properly, the Falcons will be awarded an “awesome,” which is worth 56 points.