Ozzie Guillen Thinks Dustin Pedroia Is Just a Wee Lil’ Fella

By Will Brinson

Can you be derogatory in referencing someone’s height? I mean, you can call someone a “midget” and be offensive (thanks, “Seinfeld”) but what about someone who is just short? Like, if you called them a “g*dd*amn jockey,” would that be offensive?

Because that’s exactly what Ozzie Guillen called Dustin Pedroia after the Red Sox beat up on South Siders.

‘I never thought I was going to walk a goddamn jockey,” Guillen said of the 5-7 Pedroia, a player he actually admires. ”Walking a guy who just came from being on top of Big Brown. Right now, he’s on a roll. This guy right now is on fire. No matter what you throw up there, he’s going to get it. I can’t believe you can change professions in one year, go from the Kentucky Derby to the Boston Red Sox ballpark.”

Simply stunning. Honestly, if Pedroia wasn’t such a quasi-viable candidate for the MVP award, this feels like it could be construed as offensive to jockeys. Because they’re smallish in stature. I know, I know. It’s really quite bizarre.

And the GD in front of it doesn’t help anything, because it sounds like Ozzie hates jockeys, like they’re carnies or something. Not that there’s anything wrong with carnies either. To sum up quickly: Ozzie is absolutely, 100 percent certifiable and at least 150 percent awesome.

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