Soccer News That May Or May Not Be Relevant To Your Life
If you’re an American — and if you aren’t, why do you hate freedom so much? — you likely don’t pay much attention to soccer. And that’s OK! No reasonable sports fan would ever force you to sit through something you don’t like; that’s the beauty of consumer choice. Why force it?
But in case you do like soccer, there’s actual local soccer news today: The U.S. Men’s National Team beat the tar from Trinidad-Tobago last night, 3-0, and even better, they did so at Chicago’s Toyota Park. The teams later flew out of Midway airport, but not before standing in the Southwest ticket line for an hour and getting blindly drunk on black and tans at Reilly’s Daughter. No, wait. That was me.
Anyway, the U.S. is well on their way to the World Cup, something they’d like to qualify for. Maybe you’ve heard of the World Cup? You have? And you don’t care? Cool. I’ll stop writing now.
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