Let me tell you, between the White Sox’s epic collapse and this Citizens Bank Park hot dog bomb scare case yet to be solved, I was tossing and turning in my bed last night.

What sad, terrible person would lay to waste so many hot dogs? How could someone think this was OK?  Forget the economic crisis, this is what the nation should be focusing its efforts upon. But fear not brave souls: the case has been cracked. Turns out it was no human being.

It was the Philly Phanatic:

“It appears they’re the same hot dogs the Phanatic uses to shoot into the crowd,” one investigator said.

[ ... ]

The Phillies said: “After looking into [yesterday's] incident, the Phillies have determined that a commercial shoot was conducted at Citizens Bank Park during which hot dogs heavily wrapped in white packaging and duct tape were used as projectiles by the Phanatic’s hot-dog launcher. Three of those projectiles were inadvertently left behind on a light post at our First Base Gate.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait: the Phanatic launches delicious hot dogs in the stands at games via a launcher? Why is this not an institute in every stadium in America?

This might be the greatest invention/idea. Ever.

(Via the Sporting Blog. Photo via inherbarefeet on Flickr. Thanks to Enrico for the photo heads-up.)