There’s nothing over dramatic at all about Cubs fans. Seriously. Nothing. Just a bunch of calmly behaving rational thinking people. That’s what I thought yesterday anyway. I have now changed my mind.

First it was the ridiculous “Not actually a funeral funeral” shrine thing. And now, it’s a Cubbie fan selling his loyalty on eBay.

So, I have a proposition. In the interest of sparing my emotions from one more gut-wrenching season, I am auctioning off my loyalty to the Chicago Cubs. Now, since I realize that seems somewhat fatalistic, I will also make the provision that I will accept bids from ANYONE, even Cubs fans. That means that my loyalty will go to the highest bidder, even if that means I have to get my guts scooped out every year for the rest of my life (as a result of a winning Cubs bid).

This “fan” mentions that he has only been following the Cubs for 30 years. He also discusses that he’s doing this because he wants to curse the Cubs for another 100 years. But hey! It’s going to charity.

Now, the problems. First: 30 years. Yeah, man, tough life. And clearly he cares about baseball enough for it to actually affect him. How do I know that? Because he wants the Cubs to suffer through another 100 years. I mean, it’s one thing to play the role of martyr and cough up your fanhood to save an orphanage in a third-world country and hope the Cubs win while you’re rooting against them. But to beg for the suffering of the rest of Cubbie nation just so you can raise money for a Shakespeare Foundation (don’t even get me started), well, at least we have our 2008 Bandwagon Loser of the Year Award handled already.

Hand pound to Fornelli