It’s been about four months since I’ve had Taco Bell, namely because I realized I needed to start eating healthier if I wanted to live past the age of 30. (This excludes Friday and Saturday nights between the hours of one and four a.m. And then all the drinking I did before those hours. And also, various other times throughout the week. But yeah: close enough.)

However, considering Jason Bartlett was able to steal a base in Game 1 of the World Series, thus allowing everyone in America to grab a free taco at Taco Bell today, I decided to hoof it a few blocks — in 45-degree weather, no less! — to Taco Bell.

After the jump, see how it all went down. (It’s about as exciting and interesting as it sounds. Which is to say it’s not very exciting or interesting at all.)

Get this: to actually make it to Taco Bell, I had to stand up, put on my jacket, walk out the door of the MPS office and take an elevator downstairs. Then I did this thing they call “walking.” Have you tried this?

Once at the Taco Bell, there was no line. Sweet. I noticed a huge pile of tacos stacked up like a mountain … a mountain of beef. (That’s what she said.) I approached the counter. The lady at the register looked at me, pointed and said:

“Free taco?”

To which I retorted: “You have me pegged too well.”

Then some other guys came up and ordered and were all giddy about their free tacos. Seriously, it was like they had just won a lot of money or pwned some n00bs in World of Warcraft. (It’s amazing how excited we get for food in America.)

I received my taco, walked back to the office and then realized I was still kind of full. But damn it: Jason Bartlett deserved to be honored nobly for his service to America. So, I ate the taco:

(Yes, I am wearing a sweater vest. I also desperately need a haircut.)

Yeah, that’s about it. You are now four percent dumber for having read this. Have a good night!

(For a much better read about a trip to Taco Bell, check out Dayn Perry’s trip to seven of them last fall classic for the same promotion.)