During his appearance on “Monday Night Football” last week, President-elect Barack Obama advocated the implementation of a playoff system in college football. Well, let the historical record state that the Obama Doctrine was not checked first by Congress or the United Nations. No, it was the Bowl Championship Series Oversight committee.

“My colleagues and I on the BCS Presidential Oversight Committee have discussed the future of postseason football on many occasions and we do not believe a playoff would be in the best interest of the sport, the student-athletes or our many other constituencies,” [BCS chairman David] Frohnmayer said.

This is surely the first of many setbacks for the freshman President from America. If Obama hasn’t yet received the following rebukes, he certainly will soon.

From NFL commissioner Roger Goodell:

Mr. President-elect,

Thank you for the architectural blueprints. Unfortunately, technological constraints preclude us from building a stadium on top of a cloud. I share your hope, however, that one day the NFL will allow a team called the Cloud City Precipitations into its ranks.

- Roger

From NBA commissioner David Stern:

Mr. President-elect,

No.

- D

And from MLB commissioner Bud Selig:

Mr. President-elect,

I’m so glad to hear from you. I’m sorry for the late reply; I type slowly. I can only type with one hand because I am perpetually holding my other hand over my mouth and saying, “oh no oh no” over and over. I feel like sometimes I am a bad commissioner, but I try to do my best because I love baseball and I want to make everybody happy.

You’ll be pleased to learn that plans are in place to relocate the Mariners to the cumulonimbus cloud that is perpetually hovering over Seattle. Three words: Lots. Of. Incredibly tall. Steel. Beams.

Do you think baseball would be better if there were whoopee cushions involved? I would appreciate a prompt reply.

- Bud