It’s been about a week since Election Day. This is usually the time when Americans shelve their political interest and resume their soul-crushing apathy. Preferably, they’re aided by some form of grain liquor. Mmm. Dispassion — it always goes down smooth.

Unfortunately, local politics ticks on. In Minnesota, for example, Stuart Smalley is waiting to see whether he’s good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, if people like him. Alaska still needs to count a bunch’a ballots, don’t ‘cha know. And in Sacramento, former NBA point guard Kevin Johnson is preparing to be mayor, the first African-American in the city’s history to do so. The half-sports-half-politics media tour commenced last night on “The Colbert Report”:

I’m pretty sure Charles Barkley is the one who said you couldn’t get a sandwich in Sacramento. He wasn’t overexaggerating, or making fun of the night life. He just really wanted a sandwich.