In the year 2000 … There will be baseball players worth almost $3 million. There will be seven-foot pitchers. There will be stadiums across the land, and major league teams in the smallest towns. Robots will battle zombies will battle aliens, but non-violently. In the year 2000, there is no war.

Well … at least the Sporting News got something right:

“There will be all kinds of leagues and divisions. All the existing cities in the big leagues will stay, and new ones will be hammering at the door to get in…. Also, there’ll be enough domed stadiums in baseball for teams in cities like Denver, Tampa Bay, Vancouver, and Buffalo, and at least four more cities…”

Tampa Bay! Denver! Well look at that. 1981’s Sporting News baseball predictors hit a couple on the head. The rest — not so much.

Ray Grebey, director of labor relations for MLB: “Pay TV? Everybody thinks it will revolutionize the economics of the game. But pay tv isn’t necessarily an extra source of revenue for baseball. You can only show your game in one place. So I don’t foresee a revolution, I don’t think things will be much different from now if we all keep our heads and work out our problems. But as for $1 million a year or $2 million a year for everybody, there’s no way that baseball could stand it…”

Haha. People in the past were SO stupid. We’re definitely smarter now. Now excuse me while I go have a delicious Brawndo. It’s what plants crave!