Hey, you like sports; I like sports; He likes sports; She likes sports; We all like sports. And this year in particular, we set a lot of records for the amount of us watching sports. Nielsen, who does all the compiling of this nonsense, has them for you.

Check ‘em out.

-The most-watched global event ever (2008 Beijing Summer Olympics: 4.7 billion viewers)

-The most-watched Super Bowl ever (Giants-Patriots, Super Bowl XLII: 97.5 million viewers)

-The most-watched cable broadcast of all time (Cowboys-Eagles, Monday Night Football: 18.6 million viewers)

-The most-watched cable golf event of all time (Tiger vs. Rocco, U.S. Open Playoff: 4.8 million viewers)

-The most-watched cable baseball game ever (Red Sox-Rays, ALCS Game 7: 13.4 million viewers)

-The most-watched NBA Finals in five years (Celtics-Lakers, NBA Championship Series average: 14.9 million viewers)

-The most-watched NHL regular season game in nine years; most-watched finals in five years (Winter Classic: 2.5 million viewers; Stanley Cup, Penguins–Red Wings average: 4.5 million viewers)

-The most-watched Wimbledon final in eight years (Federer-Nadal: 5.2 million viewers)

Nielsen attributes the boost this year in part to things like the Internet, HDTV and mobile phones. Technology: Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Lastly, save for a few, I watched pretty much all these events. I am still waiting on my record-setting medals, or trophy, or prize money — whatever I’m supposed to get for being involved in these all-time records. Please be advised.

Also see: Awful Annoucing, who got the same e-mail as me.