The travel call against LeBron James near the end of the Cavaliers’ 80-77 loss to the Wizards on Sunday has developed into something of an ongoing story. If you haven’t seen the travel in question, you can watch it here. James took two steps to the basket. He then drank a cup of tea, filed his taxes, cleaned his gutters, watched some old Scorcese movie that his friends have been bugging him to watch, and took a third step to the net. Pretty obvious travel, right? LeBron still disagrees.

“I’ve done that move plenty of times and I believe it’s a good move,” he said after practice on Tuesday.

…”It’s easy for people who don’t play the game of basketball to say something about a certain move. You hear all the people on SportsCenter talk about it, but they’ve never touched a basketball in their lives. They just report about it.”

That second statement is the one that has plunged me into a crisis of introspection. I thought I knew what a travel was, I really did. Apparently, though, since I’m not a basketball player, I am not capable of comprehending what a travel is. Is it three steps? Four? Eight? I don’t know, because I am not a basketball player. I think I’ve been making errant presumptions like these for my entire life. Here are a few I’ve recently realized:

- A “three-pointer” is a shot taken from beyond the three-point arc. I’ve never read a rule book and I’ve never stepped onto a professional court, so I have no way of knowing whether this is true. I just assumed. And when you “ASSUME,” you make an “ASS” of “U” and “ME”! (Hat tip to my high school algebra teacher.)

- A “home run” occurs when a batter hits a ball, rounds all three bases and scores on a single play. Maybe, maybe not! It is impossible for me to know for sure, because I cannot hit a curveball.

- Fleet Foxes are a great band. I’m not a musician! What am I even talking about? What if Fleet Foxes are terrible, and the best band in the world is actually Incubus? There is no way for me to know!

As a result of LeBron’s phenomenal insight, I’ve had to recant almost all the knowledge I’ve accumulated over the course of my life. Everything I ever knew about anything I haven’t personally experienced is out the window. As such, I only know four things for certain: I’m left-handed, I have a cold, blogging is fun, and I like spaghetti. That is all. In fact, I have forgotten how to typeenklabngrnklvb