Former Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin was driving around in Dallas Monday night. He stopped at a red light. A pickup truck pulled up next to him. The passenger brandished a gun, and proceeded to riddle Irvin with a series of well-wishes.

The passenger flashed a gun. Then the retired NFL star heard one of them call out his name and mentioned being a “huge Cowboy fan.”

“The passenger pulled out a semiautomatic and I knew what time it was,” Irvin told the Dallas Morning News. “But he said, ‘Oh, that’s Michael Irvin, with the Dallas Cowboys.’ ”

Irvin says he began talking with the men about the team’s disappointing 9-7 season and Dallas not making it to the Super Bowl.

Irvin’s condition has been upgraded to “flattered” and is resting comfortably at home, unless he decided to get up early and get some stuff done. This incident gives new meaning to the joke we all told in middle school: “Three Dallas Cowboys are in a car. Who’s driving? A cop. So that situations like this can be avoided in the future.”