I Have Seen The Future: Super Bowl XLIII, As Simulated By Tecmo Super Bowl

By Jon Bois

I recently came across a version of Tecmo Super Bowl for the NES that features up-to-date 2008 rosters. Naturally, the next step is to pit the Steelers against the Cardinals, record the video, and take more stock in it than is warranted, right? Right?

My esteemed colleague Mike over at Progressive Boink gave this same treatment to Super Bowl XLI two years ago. The final score: Bears 43, Colts 35. Meanwhile, in real life, the Colts actually beat the Bears, 29-17. So, granted, it’s possible that Tecmo Super Bowl is not the most robust piece of predictive software on the planet. Honestly, though, the freaking Arizona Cardinals are in the Super Bowl, a circumstance more anomalous and strange than the origin of the universe itself. No computer program could have predicted the Cardinals reaching the Super Bowl; therefore, no computer program can be expected to know what the hell to do with this set of variables.

Eight-bit Super Bowl XLIII proved surprisingly exciting. The final score? Cardinals 28, Steelers 24. If this thing accurately simulates the results on Sunday, I’m going to use Dig Dug to calculate the present location of Osama bin Laden.

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