Michael Phelps Apologizes For Doing Totally Normal, Albeit Illegal, Thing
Do you smoke weed? If you don’t smoke it regularly, you’ve probably at least tried it, and if you haven’t at least tried it, you surely have a friend who has. Is marijuana even taboo anymore? Our current president is an admitted former weed smoker (”I inhaled. That was the point.”), while movies specifically about pot are big bucks at the box office. This is 2009, people. Bud happens.
Unless, of course, you’re an American Olympic hero. Unless you’re Michael Phelps. In a story literally everyone has heard about already, News of the World published a photo of Some Dude That Looks A Lot Like Michael Phelps ripping a bong over the weekend. Turns out, Phelps it is:
“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said in the statement released by one of his agents on Sunday. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”
Of course Phelps has to make the standard apology, and maybe this will hurt his endorsements slightly, but in the meantime, I’d like to give you my stereotypical hippie-ish weed speech. Ready? Cool.
(Blows smoke out.) No, man, it’s stupid. See, there’s no way anybody who has smoked and anybody who has drank would say that weed should be illegal and liquor should be legal. It’s true, man. When you drink you get loud and destructive and angry, and you can’t drive, and it’s really really addicting and bad for you. When you smoke, dude, all you do is sit around and watch movies, man. Like this “Mortal Kombat” flick! By the way, how funny is this? Why can’t that be my personal life choice? Why do you have to impose your Puritanical restrictions on me? We should all just move to Canada, man. Maybe the Arcade Fire would let us crash. Anyway, dude, I was just thinking … what if “Mortal Kombat” was real?
And … scene. See? I probably heard (or gave) some version of that speech 20 times in college. It is simultaneously stupid and correct. By which I mean to say: Leave Michael Phelps alone. The guy trained for, like, his whole life. He won a bunch of medals. Let him rip a bong every once in a while. It’s not hurting anyone. Except for the one kid who was going to pursue an Olympic swimming career and has instead decided to start doing drugs. It hurts him. But no one else!
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2. Michael Phelps never said it was marajuana, he just said he made an error in judgement....why would anyone ever admit to breaking the law? Duhhhhh
You can take a picture of youself snorting coke or baby powder...doesnt matter...unless the cops have a sample of the substance and can proove its composition matches that of an illegal substance...NO CRIME!
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