Alex Rodriguez To Have Surgery, Miss 10 Weeks
Alex Rodriguez has dominated offseason baseball news, almost all of which has been focused on his admission that he used some steroids that his cousin injected him with, but they totally didn’t do it right and it was legal in the Dominican (no, it wasn’t) and I was young then and ha ha it was so long ago! We were kids! I really just want to play baseball now, please? Oh, also, something about steroids being bad. Don Hooten. Whatever.
Today, new, likely-unrelated-to-steroids A-Rod news: Alex is going to miss 10 weeks from surgery required to remove a cyst on his right thigh. Gross, dude:
“It’s a big blow for the whole family. Alex is destroyed,” Joe Rodriguez told the website. “We were all very excited to see him play with the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic. But the most important thing is to have a successful surgery so that Alex may continue his career.”
No, Joe, the most important thing is that Alex hurry back as quickly as possible and play in April, so that the hundreds of thousands of roto players in the world don’t lose an entire month of A-Rod-ness. April is always his best month! He always hits like 12 home runs! As if the baseball fans of the world needed another reason to hate Alex Rodriguez. Add “cyst removal surgery” to the list, please. Reason No. 4,203,845: added.



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