Fidel Castro is, like you and me, a baseball fan. And like any baseball fan, he feels the need to express his feelings about baseball games after they have taken place. What results — Castro’s translated musings, titled “Fidel Castro’s Reflection on Second Baseball Classic” — is undeniably brilliant:

I am trying to follow the events of the Baseball Classic, thanks to our national television services. [Ed. note: Still better than Comcast.] The Japanese team is excellent; I would like our victory in the Classic to be achieved at the expense of this team; a team that has tremendous technical expertise.

That will not happen if we slide into the carelessness that I observed during the match between Cuba and South Africa on the afternoon of Sunday, March 8. Both Olivera and Paret were left stunned at first base and Michel Enríquez gave away an out with an irrational advance towards second base after batting a hit, possible too agitated during his run from the base by the order of the coach.

I allow myself to make this criticism because it concerns three exceptional athletes, with tremendous shame, but also confidence in themselves.

By all accounts, Fidel Castro is on his death bed. The man barely registers a blip on the geopolitical scene. The successor to his position (brother Raul Castro) was chosen long ago. Fidel might not even be all that conscious anymore. Who knows, really? He could be dead, and we wouldn’t know, at least not until we moved our super-spy-satellites in their proper positions.

So what you just read is the warbled baseball ramblings of an 82-year-old man … which were recorded and transcribed by his staffers … which were subsequently translated into English. And it makes more sense than anything Tim McCarver has said in years.

(HT: JoePo)