Greg Paulus is the hottest name among NFL draft rumors circulating these days, with word spreading that the Green Bay Packers brought him in for a workout. And yes, “hottest name” does in fact mean “stupidest rumor ever.” Unless of course it’s a personal favor type thing, in which case, hey, it’s who you know and whatnot.

Of course, playing football is not Paulus’s only option in terms of career choice. In fact, as the Piler and I discussed last night, he has several choices. In lieu of the time it would take to do a “Create Your Own Adventure” thingie, let’s just run through them, shall we?

1. Coach at Duke — This is a lock, even if Paulus submarined Coach K’s point guard recruiting over the course of his four years in Durham. It’s pretty obvious that Chris Collins needs someone to carry his Kleenex. Plus, more floor slapping!

2. Play in the NBA — Bwa … bwa … bawahahahahahahahhaaha. OK, wait, sorry, I’m not done: bwahahahahahahahaha. Anyway, moving on…

3. Enter the NFL Draft — And I thought it couldn’t get any funnier. Then it did. Look, Paulus might have played quarterback in high school and been very good. But he’s four years removed, he doesn’t fit the role for any other position on the field, and there’s a reason he decided to turn down a scholarship to Notre Dame in order to play basketball at Duke: he wasn’t going to be that good to begin with. (Aside: more obnoxious/awful position in sports — the QB of ND or the Dook PG? OY. Discuss.)

4. Play football at Duke — WHA? Yes, that’s right. It appears Paulus DOES have another year of eligibility in which he could kick it on campus, hit on semi-skanky nerds for another year, do nothing and just play football, eventually honing his skillz to the point where he could be drafted in the sixth round by the Packers in order to back up Aaron Rodgers’ backup.

5. Play basketball in Europe — This is actually the most attractive option in my mind. He can definitely latch onto a Euro team, pick up $30,000 in salary for a year, travel another country and make some contacts. Then he comes back to Durham in 2015 and becomes Coach Wojo’s assistant as he helps the rest of his cronies slowly deteriorate Duke’s basketball legacy.

But hey: It’s better than having the Green Bay Packers play a two-week delayed April Fool’s Day joke on you, right?