No links here. No trackbacks, no Google alerts, no traffic. That’s the policy I’m adopting today in regards to He Who Shall Not Be Named* (henceforce abbrev. as HWSNBN). Why? Because even discussing HWSNBN’s column today is in its own way admitting defeat. When columns are written solely for the attention of a group of people capable of generating buzz — in this case, “bloggers” — there are limited tools we can use without falling directly into the trap. This is the one I have chosen. Ignoring him would have been better, sure, but there is a point here worth getting across at least once. Bear with me.

Truthfully, this is the first time I’ve found myself even moderately interested in HWSNBN since his big move from the Sun-Times to AOL. In his Chicago days, HWSNBN had lots of traction. Every day was a new exercise in how angry he could make his readers. And because it was a local market focused intensely on four or five teams, these columns genuinely angered people. They dominated the conversation, these columns. They were, in so far as this word isn’t inappropriate, important.

No more. Since moving to his new online home, HWSNBN hasn’t done much of anything to warrant anger or even interest. He just sort of types away, taking his little potshots here and there, to minimal effect. Which is nice to see. HWSNBN has become an semi-obscure blogger, and not a particularly good one: his guiding principles are provocativeness and page views, and all the best bloggers — the ones really worth reading — don’t agree.

So it was probably only a matter of time before today happened. Today, HWSNBN adapts his act to his new online audience and goes after sports bloggers. It’s Classic HWSNBN: accusatory, wrongheaded, solipsistic, petty. I mean, when this is your first paragraph:

I am one of the fortunate ones. Twelve months a year, I’m paid to dispense information and opinions on a major Web site read by millions, not to mention a major TV network watched by millions. I don’t have to STRRRRRETTTTCCH THE TRUTH or make something up to be noticed as a columnist.

… I’d describe you less as “fortunate” than “insecure.” I’m widely read! I’m on TV! Just because no one seems to react to my columns anymore doesn’t mean I’m not still important! AND I’m credible! Eat that, bloggers! HWSNBN’s next move: buying a motorcycle and sleeping with a 22-year-old. The insecurity is as thick as the condescension.

The column proceeds as expected. Bloggers (i.e. Jerod Morris) are dumb. Will Leitch is a jerk. My old newspaper sucks. Et. al. The point of this post is not to react to the piece — really, come on — but to emphasize this vital point: These words were born out of more than HWSNBN’s personal beliefs. These are not just his thoughts. This column exists because HWSNBN was hired to do a job. In his years preceding FanHouse, HWSNBN gradually transformed himself into less of an analyst or sports fan into someone to be counted on to get everybody frothy once a week. That’s what AOL expected. They wanted froth. To generate links and buzz and anger is more a part of HWSNBN’s job description than “sportswriter” ever was. And this is what they get. This is what they paid for. When your hiring patterns turns cynical, you can’t be surprised when your content quickly follows.

Of course, it didn’t work at first. So hey, let’s give this a shot! If people won’t get mad at HWSNBN about sports, maybe we just have to recalibrate on … bloggers! Genius! The bloggers will get mad and they’ll link and discuss and maybe rip him enough so he can talk about it on that awful ESPN show he’s on, and then we’re back in the game!

This is an important thing to keep in mind. Don’t engage this stuff on the merits. Don’t act like HWSNBN believes any of it. When approached when cynicism like this, just duck. Let it slide by. There’s plenty of good stuff on the other side.

*HWSNBN is a prominent (he would say “famous”) Internet sports columnist for FanHouse, which made the regrettable decision of hiring him earlier this year and thus sullied the work of a few really good, significantly less-well-paid bloggers that helped the site become the sort of place that could hire HWSNBN in the first place, not to mention writers new to the site actually doing good work with considerably less exposure. Like I said: sad.