CFL Player Does Weirdest End Zone Celebration Of All Time

By Jon Bois

Just like everyone else who isn’t dead inside, I really enjoy end zone celebrations. It’s hilarious to observe sportswriters and commentators get angry when Randy Moss faux-moons the crowd or Chad Johnson performs CPR on a football. I’m guessing that everyone will have the same reaction to this one, though: confusion.

Last night, Toronto Argos receiver Arland Bruce ran in for a touchdown. Then he ripped off his helmet, jersey, and shoulder pads, laid down in the endzone, closed his eyes, and crossed his arms. This is the strange part:

Bruce said he was honoring the memory of Michael Jackson by pretending to be buried.

Is … what is this? Is this irony? If a player wants to do an end zone celebration that pays tribute to Michael Jackson, the obvious solution is to Moonwalk. Can’t Moonwalk? It’s hard, don’t feel bad. Just do the Thriller dance or something. He gave you plenty of fodder when he was alive; there’s no need to impersonate his corpse. As if someone watching on television would wistfully take a sip of beer and think, “Yep … that was Michael Jackson for you. Always bein’ buried.”

Furthermore, I’m not sure why he thought his “dead Michael Jackson” impression would be any more authentic without half his uniform. “No, guys, you don’t get it! Michael Jackson would never be buried while wearing a jersey and football helmet! He didn’t even play football!”

Of course, this isn’t weird because it’s macabre or disrespectful or anything like that. This is weird because it doesn’t make a damn bit of sense. Look for him to pay a special end zone tribute to Farrah Fawcett next week by … I don’t know, drinking a glass of water?

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