Imagine a World Without Buffalo Wings

By Eamonn Brennan

I know. I don’t want to do it either. But if the price of wings keeps rising, as Darren Rovell reported yesterday, there’s a pretty good chance we’re all going to have to go boneless. What is this, North Korea?

But it’s true. The New York Times reports:

“In seven of the last 11 months, wholesale wing prices have been higher than breast prices.”

That’s pretty astounding, considering the amount of chicken involved in each piece; breasts are considerably larger than wings. The New York Times has one suggestion for those looking to avoid spending what will soon be seemingly exorbitant prices on wings: Go boneless.

Don’t get me wrong. I looooove boneless wings. They rev my engine. But they DON’T belong in the newsroom! (It is AnchorWING, not AnchorLADY, and that is a scientific … OK you get the point.) What kind of sporting world would it be without the ability to order three or four pounds of wings on a Sunday afternoon? What good is 30 different types of sauces if you can’t lick these sauces off your fingers?

The sad thing is that this dystopia is self-created; the reason for these high prices is as simple as popularity. Which means that if we all don’t stop eating wings, we’ll all have to stop eating wings. I just don’t know what to do. But I’m definitely not going to stop eating wings.

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