Here’s a fun fact: Chicago is scientifically no more windy than other major American cities. And yet we’re called the Windy City, because hey, it does get windy here, at least anecdotally. I remember when I first got here thinking I would be shielded from the wind downtown by the massive skyline buildings. I assure you this is not the case.

Being called the Windy City is not all that big of a deal, normally, but when it threatens your Olympics bid, that’s when I draw the line. According to Andrew Grenier at NBC Chicago, that’s exactly what it’s doing:

Buried in the 100-page report issued Wednesday by the International Olympic Committee is a tidbit about Chicago’s notorious weather trait. IOC members apparently showed “some concern” that “strongish” winds could disrupt competitions in archery, rowing, canoe, kayaking, tennis and open swimming because average wind strengths increase at mid-afternoon to slightly over 11 m.p.h., the report said.

That 11 m.p.h. thing can’t exactly be scientific, either. Maybe it’s an average, I guess. Either way, this is really stupid. Weather shouldn’t have all that much to do with selecting an Olympics city in the first place, because duh, as long as every athlete is competing in the same conditions, the playing field is level. What’s more, it’s not all that windy here. Not in the summer, anyway. If I lose my chance at crashing the athletes’ village over this, I swear to God, IOC: you will have a debt to pay.

Dwyane Wade recently made a new purchase: a $1.7 million townhouse in Chicago.

Here it is, in full legal viewing (h/t to the Chicago Mag via Peter J.H. Gaines) and in all it’s multi-million dollar splendor. Briefly, a description:

Fabulous 3900+ square foot luxury riverfront, newly remodelled townhome In Kinzie Park. Hardwood Floors In Living room, dining room, kitchen, stairs; slate floors in foyer & family room - opens to fenced yard on river’s edge. Fireplaces in living room and master bedroom; kitchen with stainless steel appliances, granite counters, wine cooler & custom wet bar. Balcony with gas grill adjacent to kitchen, river view Master Suite and Caesarstone Quartz Cntrs, marble floors, steam shower & soaking tub, closet organizers. Rooftop terrace w/great views. 2 car garage + 2 additional spaces at $40,000 each.

Now, it’s very easy to get all worked up when famous athletes who we want to play in our city purchase a house in said city.

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OK, there’s no actual team in Zion, Illinois. And there’s no name for the team that doesn’t exist. But Kevin Costner is bringing them to Zion anyway. Why? Because he can’t get a movie studio to sign off on his next “This Is What I Really Wish My Life Had Been Like” movie, and the only other logical step is to purchase a minor league baseball team.

Or to buy a motorcycle. He opted for the former.

Starting the team is “kind of a way to be associated with baseball other than being a washed up catcher,” the actor said, referring to his role as Durham Bulls catcher Crash Davis in the classic baseball film “Bull Durham.”

“I just enjoy the way the game is played,” Costner said in this morning’s interview, “and I love to play it myself.”

Oh. No. He wouldn’t … would he? Answer: Yes, Costner would totally buy a minor league team just to see if he could make the roster. Don’t put it past him.

In reality, it’ll probably be awesome to be on this team; Costner won’t be afraid to chunk money at making the squad popular and you have to imagine that his legions of corn-bred fans in the Midwest will stream through the gates looking for him to sign stalks of corn or something.

The only potential downside is that Costner might have banked on using the money from sales of Waterworld’s two disc extended edition — re-released today and already on sale! — to fund this little project. Because then it’s … sunk … from the start.

If you want to have the Olympics in your town, you have to have an Olympic Village. Have to. Otherwise, you’re just another American town with a spring dressed up in international patriotic flair, hoping that some inspection committee falls prey to your wiles.

Chicago, it would seem, wouldn’t have that hard a time getting a village somewhere. In fact, they had it all set up to build a $1.1 billion village where a soon-to-be-vacated hospital currently resides. It’s a good move because the property gets put to use and later used to benefit the city in terms of housing. Or possibly not.

But the deal apparently broke down when the owner of the property, Medline Industries, broke off talks with the city.

The original plan called for demolition and cleanup costs to come out of Medline’s pocket, at a cost of $20 million that the city characterized as a “charitable contribution.” In the proposed deal, Mayor Daley wanted to roll the dice that the depressed real estate market would come roaring back.

The $20 million was supposed to be enough to cover demolition, environmental cleanup and five years of interest payments on the loan at a rate of 5 percent. But costs to raze the 37-acre campus came back 60 percent higher, at $32 million. Chicago 2016 Chairman Pat Ryan tried to salvage the deal by renegotiating the purchase price, but Medline apparently wouldn’t budge.

Well, $20 million is a lot of money. So I can totally see Chicago’s logic behind deciding to force Medline into paying … oh, wait, NO I CAN’T. Clean it up for them, Chicago. Demolish it. Bring the Olympics to us, back to America, where they belong in the center of the universe.

Seriously though, Daley, stop worrying about booze sales down in Wrigleyville and lock this down.