Notes on a 30-6 win over the Browns …

When is a win not a win?

When you squander a couple red-zone opportunities against the worst defense in the NFL, your quarterback has an average day at best, your offensive line continues to struggle as your quarterback gets sacked four times while hurried another seven, that’s when.

Sure, the scoreboard read 30-6, but anyone watching the game yesterday knows the Bears should have had another couple touchdowns. This was not the emphatic victory they needed to regain some confidence heading into the crucial stretch of the season; it was just a mirage of success against one of the worst teams in the league.

That being said …

… you can’t knock what the defense brought yesterday. I know the Browns’ defense is equally as anemic as their other side of the ball, but the Bears’ defense made all those statement plays the offense could have, but didn’t: there were strips, fumble recoveries, interceptions, interceptions for a score. All and all, the defense recovered three fumbles, and intercepted the Browns twice. Props to Danieal Manning, who had a terrific interception in the first quarter, and followed it up with a fumble recovery in the third quarter.

Matt Forte sighting.

Forte didn’t break the 100-yard barrier, as he carried 26 times for 90 yards. That’s about 3.4-3.5 yards a carry, so right at his season average. But he did get into the end zone twice, so fantasy owners that expected him to do a lot more this year should be happy. Subbing in Josh Beekman for Frank Omiyale at left guard didn’t do anything to open up the run game more. And yeah, remember: this was all against the Browns.

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LeBron James apparently dislikes Braylon Edwards. (Although not for the same reason — the near-goose egg that Edwards is laying on the 2009 fantasy football season — as most folks, myself included.)

Why does he feel that way? Because Edwards allegedly assaulted his boy, Edward Givens, last night. Givens side of the story, according to the Cleveland Plain-Dealer:

“After the club closed, I was outside greeting and saying goodbye to people. Braylon comes up and started saying things, degrading me,” Givens told the Plain-Dealer. “He said if it wasn’t for LeBron [James] or the Four Horsemen, I wouldn’t have what I have, nor would I be able to get girls. Everyone knows Braylon has a problem with LeBron. So I had to speak up for myself. The conversation started to escalate. As some of his teammates started to pull him back, he punched me. I have a black eye and a cut. I’m not a violent guy.

“As long as I’ve known Braylon, I’ve allowed him and his friends to come into our events free of charge. Whatever jealousy he has with LeBron, he felt he needed to take it out on me.”

So, yeah. LeBron lashed back out in practice today, completing the necessary smack-talking cycle:

LeBron just ripped Braylon Edwards for (allegedly) punching his friend last night. Called Edwards “jealous” of him and “childish.”

Now, call me crazy, but I tend to think this might be the stupidest war of all time. Why do I feel that way? (And why do I keep asking myself questions? I have no idea.) Well, mainly because Edwards is a stiff and James is the greatest thing to ever happen to Cleveland.

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Couches are the only thing missing from NFL stadiums. Sure, there’s tons of stuff that’s wrong with the stadium experience (parking issues, $7 drinks, bad seats) but in terms of things that are missing … yeah, couches is about all that comes to mind.

It’s equally tough to get a couch out to your tailgate as well. While they are technically transportable, it’s not very efficient. Which is what makes Mike Meredith’s invention basically the greatest thing ever. As you can see, it’s a motorized couch.

Unfortunately, the city of Cleveland is not going to let Meredith keep driving this bad boy to Browns games and actually criminally charged Meredith.

Mike Meredith pleaded not guilty to citations for driving an unregistered vehicle and having expired plates and has a date in Cleveland Municipal Court tomorrow to plead his case.

He usually drives the “Go-Kouch” around the Municipal Parking Lot, hitting different tailgate parties. Meredith and a couple of buddies converted a riding mower into a mobile couch in 2005 because “I was wasting time walking around when I could be sitting here eating hot dogs and drinking beer.”

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