It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly why big hats look stupid, since aesthetics are subjective and all that, but the general consensus is that David Wright’s helmet makes him look like a doofus. A motocross helmet would probably be a visual improvement. As it stands, Wright’s new look has drawn the most comparisons to the Flintstones’ Great Gazoo and Dark Helmet from Spaceballs. Not bad, but this is the Internet, folks. There are so many more jokes to be had.

Buzzy Beetle from the Super Mario Brothers games. If this analogy can be rightly extended, opposing pitchers should be able to dominate Wright by jumping on his head and drop-kicking him.

The big spaceship from Flight of the Navigator. Somewhere inside Wright’s helmet is an insufferable robotic eye voiced by Pee-Wee Herman that enjoys singing along to the Beach Boys. Kid’s name is even David. Seems pretty open-and-shut to me.

An extra from a Michel Gondry movie about baseball. I can almost hear Gondry’s whispery French accent. “I want to make a base ball movie. The batter, he wears helmet, no? Make him wear big helmet! Then he will fall into nightmare world made of papier-mâché!” Then he inaccurately mimes swinging a baseball bat.

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