So sayeth the ever-reliable New York Post:

Two sources in the golf community have told The Post that Ari Fleischer, the former presidential advisor to George W. Bush and the man who was brought in to help repair the steroid-shattered image of Mark McGwire, has been huddling with Woods, plotting a strategy for his return to golf — at the Arnold Palmer Invitational starting March 25 at Bay Hill in Orlando, Fla.

“They were in his living room this week going over a strategy for how to handle Bay Hill in two weeks,” one source told The Post.

The other source told The Post, “I would be shocked if he didn’t play the Arnold Palmer.”

Shocked I tell ya. Shocked!

Two things.

1) This is somewhat earlier than earlier pundit guesses. The sexy choice about two and half weeks ago was the Master’s at Augusta National on April 5-11. There’s no entry cutoff. You can show up for your tee time and go from there. So he could have kept it under the radar, something that fits well with his persona.

2) The sooner the better. Just get this guy back on the golf course. He went through his therapy to keep up appearances. He gave his public apology. The next step is for him to start golfing again, so we have something else to talk about: the greatest golfer in the world doing what he does best.

A rich, powerful, successful, competitive man had sex with several woman. Was it morally wrong? Of course. Are we kidding ourselves if we don’t believe there aren’t countless other athletes who have done/are currently doing it/will do the same in the future?

Yes, yes we are.

Once he steps back onto the golf course, the focus starts to turn away from all that extracurricular activities, and back to why we were ever talking about this guy in the first place.

Whenever Chuck Klosterman is a guest on Bill Simmons’ BS Report Podcast, it’s a must-listen. And though the latest version slumped a bit when they started talking about the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, the opening topic featuring a range of thoughts on the Tiger Woods saga was a fantastic listen.

Particularly Klosterman’s idea for Woods to get back in the media’s and public’s good graces. Take it away, Chuck:

The big thing that he needs to do is … he’s never, ever talked about himself in any way. He’s never given this interview that elucidates what he’s like as a person. So now he needs to go the complete opposite way. He needs to become like (Charles) Barkley now. He should admit that he’s had this sort of secret life, that people around him convinced him he should not be himself, and now he’s really going to be himself, and just become a totally outspoken person about race, this totally outspoken person about wealth, about Nike; he should become really political. Then people, in the long-term, would look back at this event as sort of when he actually turned the corner and became who he really was.

If he tries to continue just like: “I’m going to do nothing. I’m going to say nothing. I’m just going to take three months off to fix my marriage” … Which, he’s probably going to get divorced now regardless. Kinda comes back and plays golf … Every time he fails on the golf course, it’ll always come back to this one event. But if he moves forward and becomes this hyper-aggressive outspoken character, then he becomes a more interesting person, and, most importantly, the media would decide they love him again.

If they started seeing him as somebody that started creating controversy with everything he said, suddenly this would become the domino to a much more interesting person.

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Would you think that Michael Jordan’s old putter would have diamonds encrusted on it? Perhaps a compartment for 100-dollar bills so that he can easily pass hundos out to his golf partners for bets?

Well, you would be wrong. Because it looks like this:

Don’t all jump out of your chair at once. This puppy is currently on eBay for $500, and it’s the perfect gift for that man in your life that already owns a set of Michael Jordan game-used irons.

HT: First Cuts

Someone get this lady a talk show:

We’re always trying to figure out who the next Jordan is. While Jordan was on the court, we were doing it. And now that he’s off of it, the search continues. Right now, Kobe Bryant and LeBron James are the heir apparents.

But if you stop and think about it, for as good as LeBron and Kobe are, they haven’t, and probably never will, transcend the game like Jordan did. It was just a unique time in history: Jordan’s heyday came before the Internet and reality TV rose to prominence, it came just before basketball exploded on an international level. Eyeballs and brains weren’t darting off in a million directions everyday. Being famous actually meant you were famous. And when you thought of basketball back then, you thought of Michael Jordan. You still do.

And when you think of golf? You think of Tiger Woods. There was no one like him before. There may not be anyone like him after he retires. He’s transcended the game. He’s got the Nike swoosh on his chest. Tiger Woods is this generation’s Michael Jordan, albeit in a different sport.

Anyway, through their Nike bond, and Jordan’s love of golf, the two have struck up a big bro-little bro relationship. Jordan is his mentor. They text each other. And if there’s any guy that knows about keeping good graces with the public in the midst of some infidelity at such a high level of fame, it’s MJ.

So as David Haugh points out in today’s Tribune, Jordan can hand Woods some sounds advice on all this:

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It’s funny. A little over a week ago, I penned up a quick post about Tiger Woods getting booed, and his seemingly human reaction to it. It was a chink in his armor — a chance to see Mr. Perfect in a situation we rarely, if ever, see.

What a difference a week makes.

By now, we all know about the voicemail. A third girl has now come out of the woodwork. Tiger has apologized to his family via a carefully crafted statement on his Web site. Anyone out there still think it’s unfair to speculate about his accident?

Tiger’s biggest mistake here was not getting out ahead of the story, and telling it in his words. You’d figure a guy that’s mastered the image game better than anyone would know this. It’s PR 101. Come out, tell some of the story but not all of it, apologize for the infidelity, say how deeply sorry you are, and let that be that. We’re America. We forgive. We’re the land of second chances. We love Kobe again. His Colorado transgressions are a thing of the past.

But what Tiger did instead was take the Mark McGwire/Roger Clemens route. And it made him look bad. Real bad.

By not talking to the police, and then issuing a weak statement on his Web site about the matter, it only fueled the celebrity new cycle — put it into overdrive. Once that happens, no matter how guarded you are, no matter how careful you thought you’ve been, stuff’s going to come out. Always does in this day and age. This isn’t the 60’s when Arnold Palmer could run free with ladies to his heart’s content. This is the digital age, where technology leaves your fingerprints everywhere. Voicemails, emails, texts.

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A few things about the above video:

• It’s Tiger Woods getting booed in public with a camera in his grill at Stanford of all places. (Yes, it’s from Cal fans. But the fact remains.) Has this ever happened in such an overt manner to Woods? Doubtful.
• So often with Woods, we’re treated to his robot persona. On the course, he may show some emotion, but it’s rare he shows us much with a mic in his face. (Emotion over his late father not withstanding.) That’s why Woods stepping away from the mic in shock here is so striking. It’s a rare moment of vulnerability for a guy that’s so mentally tough.
• I feel sort of bad for Woods, insomuch as a moment in which he was being honored was ruined. But then I think about his wife and swimming pool of money, and then OH WAIT COME BACK HERE ICE CREAM TRUCK!