Ain’t this rich:

The Bears faxed a formal request for permission to meet with Packers quarterbacks coach Tom Clements (Monday), a day after Green Bay’s season ended in overtime at Arizona, and that request was quickly denied with general manager Ted Thompson and coach Mike McCarthy agreeing they didn’t want their quarterbacks coach calling plays for the Bears next season, a source said.

First off: This is what teams do when they want to request an interview with another team’s coach? They fax over a request? I don’t know, seems like maybe they should just call the team’s official beeper number, or use a dial-up modem to send an e-mail via their AOL account.

Anyway, sort of funny the Bears went this way, and were quickly rebuffed.

Simulated, imaginary conversation betweeen Thompson and McCarthy:

Thompson: Mike, wanted to call you real quick. Just got word that the Bears faxed over a request to interview Clements for their offensive coordinator gig.

McCarthy: Well I’ll be damned. This is what teams do when they want to request an interview with one of our guys? They fax over a request? I don’t know, seems like maybe they should just call the team’s official beeper number, or use a dial-up modem to send an e-mail via their AOL account. (Mike McCarthy and I have the same horrible sense of humor!)

Thompson: Yes Mike, this is what they do. I wanted to let you know, Mike, that I’m of the opinion we aren’t going to let a division rival even talk to a coach of ours for a gig. Further, Clements is real valuable to us. What are your thoughts?

McCarthy: (Laughing and laughing and laughing) Have you seen this video online where the panda sneezes? It’s a panda, and it sneezes. This is fantastic. I’ve watched this thing like six times in a row.

Thompson: I’m just going to go ahead and deny the request then, Mike.

McCarthy: Really, though, have you seen this yet? Let me send it to you.

Thompson hangs up his phone.

And … scene.

Notes on a 21-14 loss to the Packers …

Same as it ever was.

There was a time during yesterday’s game — after Aaron Rodgers coughed up the ball in Packers territory early in the third quarter and Jay Cutler found Devin Aromashodu in the end zone after a series of solid rushes from Matt Forte and a 22-yard pass to Johnny Knox– that the Bears not only gained the lead at 14-13, but also the momentum. And I thought to myself, hey, well, maybe this is it: maybe the Bears will finally put something together here and beat an opponent of worth. Actually come back from a deficit, thrive off the home crowd, keep Rodgers and the Packers’ offense grounded and win this game. Actually look good in a win for once.

But it was fleeting.

Because as he’s done so many times this season, Cutler got picked off during the fourth quarter. This time it was early in the quarter in Bears territory, and the Packers’ offense was able to slide in easily for the go-ahead and game-winning score. That was that: the Bears were losers again, and their slim playoff hopes evaporated.

In a game where the defense held well and Cutler saw some more time in the pocket due to some injuries to the Packers’ defensive line, this game was there for the Bears to grab.

But they let it slip away.

Out with one Devin, in with another.

Devin Hester sat out of yesterday’s game with a calf injury, but Devin Aromashodu filled in quite admirably for him, to the tune of eight receptions for 76 yards and a touchdown. The common question yesterday was this: why was this guy not getting more reps all season? Cutler had gone to bat for him to make the roster during the preseason. He showed he’s more than capable of being an NFL receiver yesterday at Solider Field. Is this just another sign of the incompetence of the coaching staff?

I’m not so sure.

If anything, his flash in the pan success yesterday fit right in with the trend of the Bears’ receivers this season. Remember when Johnny Knox went off for six receptions and a touchdown against the Steelers in Week 2? He’s averaging 3.1 receptions a game this season. He’s been hot some games, nowhere to be found in others. Same goes for Devin Hester and Earl Bennett.

We’ll see what happens this Sunday against the Ravens, but don’t be surprised if Aromashodu comes back down to earth.

Matt Williamson of Scouts Inc.:

The Bears’ offensive line is a major problem. Not only could the Bears not handle DT Shaun Rogers on the interior, but the extra attention that Rogers demanded allowed LB Kamerion Wimbley to often work one-on-one against over-the-hill LT Orlando Pace. The Bears gave up four sacks to the Browns, who couldn’t even sack Packers QB Aaron Rodgers a week ago. Chicago’s red zone woes continued, and while it didn’t make much of a difference against an awful team, much needs to be corrected with the Bears’ offense — and it starts up front.

Considering Aaron Rodgers has been sacked a ridiculous 31 times this year in just seven games, the comparison between the lack of success the Browns’ defensive line had against Green Bay, as opposed to the success it had against the Bears, is really kind of jarring. (I suppose looking at just two games out of the whole season isn’t the best way to go about this, but let’s just go with it, huh?)

At this point, I’m not sure what can be done. It’s a personnel issue more than anything, and that’s not something that can really be corrected at this point in the season. Josh Beekman helped some with the run game, but his pass protection didn’t cut it. The Bears may just have to ride it out until the draft — oh wait! they’re missing some draft picks! — or see what free agency brings.

Bottom line: an offensive line is a huge part of the game of football. And as we’ve seen this season, if you don’t have a good one, it can create several different issues for your offensive attack.

No, not at all. And here’s why: because the average American football fan will watch it. They’ll eat it up. Brett Favre is that car crash on the side of the road; we want to look away, but we can’t.

So yes: FOX is planning on dedicating a camera solely to covering Favre on Sunday when he takes on his former team, the Packers, in Green Bay. His every movement from the moment he gets on the field to the moment he leaves it will be captured by one cameraman. I pity this man. You can even watch that camera’s feed online at Foxsports.com and NFL.com. This is completely ridiculous. But there will be people dialing that up on their laptops during the game, as silly as it is.

Oh, and about 91 percent of the country is going to get the game on Sunday, the highest percentage this season:

Favre country, indeed. A little overkill, you say? Perhaps. But it’s just good business. When ESPN can pull in the biggest cable numbers of all-time when Favre played against the Packers up in Minnesota earlier this season, why in the hell wouldn’t FOX broadcast this game to as many households as they possibly can? It just makes sense.

So yes, this is all rather ridiculous. But it’s calculated ridiculousness. And I think that makes it a little less grating on our souls.

Presuming it’s OK to admit that I love the Smurfs, I’ll ask you this: remember that time when the Smurfs always used to take the word “Smurf” and replace it with every other word in their sentences and language in order to be humorous?

Well, ESPN tried that on Monday with Brett Favre playing the role of “the smurf language” and Colin Cowherd playing the role of Gargamel. Or something. Point being: Cowherd set what is, I believe, the record for the most times saying the words “Brett Favre” on a single television show.

ESPN put out a press release prior to this event, they called up the Guinness Book of World Records and they did not seem to care that it would irritate every human being on the planet that was stupid enough to tune into “SportsNation” that afternoon. Why didn’t they care? Richard Deitsch explains via Twitter:

From Nielsen: Vikings-Pack draws a 13.2 national rating. Seen by an average of 21.8 million viewers. Most-watched cable sports telecast ever

In the words of that creepy serial killer from South Park, “DO YOU SEE???? DO YOU????”

Seriously, I’m not exactly sure why I haven’t bothered accepting the fact that — and although I’m generally not superb about acceptance of crappy things sometimes, I feel a little bit better that most of the sane portions of America seem to agree with me — we cannot stop Brett Favre. We cannot kill Brett Favre. We cannot even hope to contain Brett Favre.

He is the unmovable object, etc., etc. And when he ran up against the Vikings on Monday Night Football (if this was the NBA, I’d be blog-winking at David Stern for his amazing skedding powers) everyone watched. Everyone. So, trust me peeps, just follow my lead and stop caring. It feels a lot better even if it shouldn’t.

Going into last night’s much-ballyhooed matchup between the Vikings and Packers, it seemed most Bears fans wanted Green Bay to win. It’s simple: the Vikes were 3-0; a loss would have dropped them into a three-way tie with the Bears and Packers in first place in the NFC North. Sure, Green Bay would have held the tiebreaker on both opponents, but it’s only four weeks in. A lot can change, and you need those challenging you for the playoffs to lose if you want to stand a chance. You just do.

And even though the score was pretty close and Aaron Rodgers threw for a career high 384 yards, this game was all Vikings, all night. Sure the Packers’ offensive line was banged up, but the Vikings defensive front, Jared Allen, in particular, were a menace, racking up eight — eight! — sacks on the night. They were all over Rodgers; he could not breathe.

Brett Favre played more of a game manager the first two weeks of the season. And last week against the 49ers, he threw for over 300 yards, but was only 24-of-46 with a pick. He made bad throws, bad decisions, before that insane pass to win the game. But last night, it was as if every pass he threw was just like that game-winner: they were precise bullets right where they needed to be. The Minnesota receiving corps isn’t anything too special, but last night, Favre made Sidney Rice, Bernard Berrian and Percy Harvin look damn good. Like Jay Cutler has here in Chicago, he elevated the play of his receivers because of how he played. And Favre was 24-of-31 for 271 yards and 3 TDs against a team that led the league with nine takeaways, including seven interceptions.

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This morning, when my roommate left the house, he left ESPN on a very quiet, very hard-to-notice volume in the other room. I can barely hear it. When I have headphones on, I can’t. And still, somehow, I occasionally catch the words “Packers” and “Brett Favre” used in conjunction — Bob Ley just said it! There it was! — and process them in my brain. And then my brain produces anger. How best to deal with this anger? Clearly, I can’t not watch football. What other solution is there? Where is my outlet for all this rage?

Rageaholics across the world, from political protesters in Burma to football fans in Kenosha, know the No. 1-hooligan approved rage outlet is effigy. Via eBay (and the Sporting Blog), wheel in the Brett Favre pinata!

On MONDAY October 5th, 2009, the pictured 4 foot Pinata will be BASHED by true PACKER FANS at our Shop. The Remaining Bits of Paper mache will be offered in this Auction. Created by our in house Artisan, it is currently READY for USE! STOP at our Shop in New Berlin Wisconsin. 16664 W. National Ave. You or your kids can take a WHACK and BACK THE PACK! FIVE PM CDT the action begins!

I do not expect this PINATA of FAVRE to hold up long!

NOR do I! In the SPIRIT of CAPITALIZING random words, let’s BASH that STUPID PURPLE bastard’s head IN. Who’s WITH me?