Once during a junior varsity basketball game in high school, I stole the ball. Awesome, huh? Yeah, then I started dribbling down the court at full speed and bounced the ball off my knee and into the cheerleaders. Then I ran into the bathroom and vomited. (I swear to God this is true. How else do you think I ended up blogging?) Naturally, my coach yelled at me, calling me names that would make Ozzie Guillen cringe.

It occurred to me today – after reminiscing over that story – that maybe having Ashton Kutcher as a high school football coach wouldn’t be that bad. OK, actually it would be amazing. Which got the retired high school athletic superstars at MPSB thinking … who else would we like to have as our high school coach?

Take a gander at our list after the jump.

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