Ladies and gentlemen, Iowa head football coach Kirk Ferentz, as told to Marc Morehouse:

You never say never, but if you see me with a Twitter account, just hit me with a baseball bat. Go ahead, take a whack at me.

I don’t think anyone cares if I have Wheaties or Honey Nut Cheerios. I don’t think anyone cares what I had for breakfast, what I chose this morning.

ME: Would you consider having someone on staff with a Twitter account?

KF: I’m not ready to go down that road. I think this might be one of the dumbest inventions in the history of mankind. I don’t have a BlackBerry yet, either. That’s one of my professional goals. I might get one when I retire, when I have nothing to do.

ME: Do you go on the internet?

KF: I never go on the internet, unless I’m looking over someone’s shoulder.

It’s always easy to poke fun at some of the coaches that are woefully out of touch with technology. Jerry Sloan comes to mind. But he’s an NBA coach. It doesn’t really matter if he’s on Twitter, or reading TMZ, or downloading Lady Gaga.

But for Ferentz, it matters.

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Last week, Iowa radio broadcaster Ed Podolak — someone I hadn’t heard of until this mess, but someone who, I am assured, is relatively beloved around Iowa — got in a little trouble over photos of him drinking, carousing, and peering down a grown woman’s shirt. Pretty standard “drunk on Saturday” stuff — except, of course, to college administrators, a distinctly joyless breed of people who believe alcoholism is the sole reason people don’t show up to their intro Finite Math lectures at 9 a.m. Those people are pissed. Now Podolak is dunzo. It’s officially being called a retirement, but it’s pretty obvious the man was canned.

How did the photos originate? First, they were taken by an Iowa State fan. Second, they were posted on the Wizard of Odds, “The College Football Site For Winners.” (Tremendous blog tagline, by the way.) Third, they spread, like all things do, about the Internet, and before you know it, Podolak was a minor sports blog figure. Fancy that.

Of course, the Wizard of Odds’ choice to post those photos in the first place is basically what got Podolak fired. So does “the Wiz” feel bad? Apparently not, and mgoblog’s Brian Cook lays the smack down:

By the way: I’d like to personally congratulate Jay Christensen of The Wizard of Odds, by the way, for posting these photos in a bid for cheap hits and costing a guy even Iowa State fans think is pretty awesome his job. Good work there. You’ve contributed greatly to the national discourse of college football with this. Love the utter lack of remorse in the follow up.

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