We hear about baseball’s best players all the time. Albert Pujols got to star in a commercial in which the Gateway Arch turns into a giant people magnet, and I’ve read Zack Greinke’s name so many times that I’ve actually learned how to spell “Zack Greinke.” The worst players aren’t officially recognized because, well, that would just be mean.

Meanwhile, the most average players get swept under the rug. The guys whose performances approach, or even achieve, the statistical mean. I’ve looked through the stats of this aging 2009 season, and I’ve concluded that this is no easy feat. The majority of players in each league are either well above or well below the average.

At the end of last season, I took it upon myself to recognize these brave champions of the status quo. As we enter the second half of the season, here are the middle-runners in each league, as guided by adjusted OPS (OPS+) and adjusted ERA (ERA+).

American League
Pitcher: Brad Penny, Red Sox (92.3 IP, 62 K, 4.71 ERA, 99 ERA+)
Penny looks up in Boston’s rotation and sees Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, and Tim Wakefield (ERA+ of 140, 121, and 108, respectively). Below him, he sees the disappointing Daisuke Matsuzaka or John Smoltz. Rather than running off and tilting statistical windmills, Penny seems perfectly satisfied with the middle road.
Batter: Joe Crede, Twins (252 AB, .234 BA, 14 HR, 100 OPS+)
If Crede were batting over .290, he’d be having a great season. If he weren’t on pace to hit around 30 home runs, he’d be having a terrible season. Crede has managed to meld a low extreme with a high extreme to produce a perfectly average season so far. That, friends, is a Zen-like achievement. I get the feeling that if he turned the bat around, grabbing it by the sweet spot and hitting the ball with the handle, the results would be no different. He will not be deterred from pursuing the statistical center.

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Around this time of year, Major League Baseball doles out heaps of awards. Two MVPs, Cy Youngs, Rookies of the Year, and Rolaids Relief Men of the Year, as well as eighteen Gold Gloves and Silver Sluggers. Not to mention all the auxiliary/humanitarian trophies. If distributed evenly, every tax-paying American would be entitled to approximately 2.6 Major League Baseball awards.

However, these laurels only commemorate exceptional play. These players couldn’t be the best, were it not for the mediocre players below them on the totem pole. With that in mind, I’d like to introduce the first annual Statistical Mean awards. These awards are meant to recognize the most average, middle-of-the-mountain players. These players’ performances, by definition, are the collective performances of all the players in baseball; the consummation of baseball’s best and worst. An award is given to a position player and pitcher in each league.

This year’s winners:

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