In the wacky, wild, TOTALLY INSANE world of sports blogs, everyone knows Joey Gathright for this:

(Ah, look: a younger, equally dumb me posted about his jumping prowess back in March, too. Simpler times then.)

So, we’ve established Joey Gathright has hops. He’s also quite fast, as he’s converted on 74 percent of his steal attempts throughout his career. (These traits sometimes go hand and hand in an athlete’s body, or so I’ve heard.) But, um, can he hit and field and do all that other stuff baseball players need to do too? Well, sort of. But anyways, the Cubs are sure hoping so, as they signed him to a one-year, $800,000 deal today. Kansas City non-tendered him Friday, and the Cubs swooped in today.

According to Paul Sullivan of the Trib, Gathright will part-time it in the outfield, as the Cubs are still looking at what was believed to be their No. 1 choice for a left-handed hat, Milton Bradley.

With Gathright in tow along with part-time outfielder Reed Johnson, Felix Pie and Micah Hoffauir will battle for the final reserve outfield spot. Pie is out of options, however, and basically is the same type of player as Gathright, so his future in the organization looks grim.

The Cubs are still trying to sign free agent outfielder Milton Bradley, and Hendry said they’ve discussed some trade options if they can’t reel in a free agent outfielder. The Cubs aren’t in a position where they have to give Bradley whatever he demands. Though they have no concerns about the chemistry issue, believing Bradley has matured from his days as a walking time bomb, his history of injuries can’t be ignored when decided on a multi-year offer.

If they can tie Milton Bradley up (or another, better left-handed bat than Gathright), the Cubs will of course be hot on the tail of Jake Peavy again. Haha. Just kidding. No, they won’t.