Well, since it’s been about a month and a half since Sammy Sosa’s name leaked off the 2003 list, it’s high time for the New York Times to talk to the lawyers familiar with who’s on the list, and get them to spill the dirt on another few names.

And this time? It’s Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, the dynamic duo that propelled the Red Sox to World Series titles in 2004 and 2007. Ramirez should come as little surprise to anyone; the dude failed a test this year and received a 50-game suspension as a result. And really, Ortiz is no shock either: there have been rumblings about him for years, and his horrific start this season only added fuel to the fire that he may no longer be getting a bump from substances.

I suppose it’s a sad day for Red Sox Nation, knowing that their two heroes were tainted when they led them to the Promised Land, but whatever. It’s not like their competition was PED free, either.

As some of my fellow tweeters said a few minutes ago when this broke, can we just release the whole damn list already and move on?

There was a time when I was pretty upset about Barry Bonds. Hank Aaron is a classy dude, and Barry Bonds was/is a jerk who almost certainly cheated his way to the most profound record in sports. I wasn’t as upset about this as some of our fine country’s most fire-breathing columnists, and I don’t really like the notion of federal agents spending tax money in an attempt to prove Barry Bonds lied about taking steroids when everyone kind of already assumes he did.

Since then, I’ve pretty much given up being disturbed by steroids. There are too many reasons not to care. So when Manny Ramirez got caught with some sort of girly drugs in his system, I reacted pretty much the same way everyone else did: “Manny, you idiot. What else is on the Internet today?”

Bill Plaschke did not. Bill Plaschke wanted justice. Bill Plaschke wanted Dodgers fans to forever turn their backs on Manny Ramirez. As DashSpin notes today, that (of course) is not going to happen. But that doesn’t mean Plaschke isn’t going to keep trying.

I’m not going to blockquote much of it, because that’s a rabbit hole I’d rather not go down. I’ll instead just say that Plaschke thinks Manny blew off Mannywood. He didn’t. And the rest is pretty much standard Plaschkeness, which is to say: It is the rambling detritus of an insane man, and you should stay far, far away, just like your mother warned.

When Manny Ramirez was suspended by Major League Baseball for taking fertility pills, I was surprised, because I’m a generally gullible person. I wasn’t mad, as I suspect most fans weren’t. There was the occasional column that likened Manny’s actions to rape, but isn’t that always the way?

Being angry just wasn’t on my list of priorities. I was worried. Manny is this generation’s Yogi Berra or Bill Lee. In a sport that’s grown more sterile and businesslike over the years, he’s served as a valuable (though unintentional, I’m sure) counterbalance. Players all over the league joke about how old their managers are and throw pies in each other’s faces during interviews, but none of those stiffs can approach Manny in the personality department.

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Remember how Manny Ramirez was such a bad, terrible, awful dude for testing positive for a banned substance, one that tied him to PEDs? Man, he totally ruined the game of baseball, and kids everywhere cried for days after they found out about it.

So, now that he’s back on his rehab stint in the minors, he of course received loud boos from the crowd in Albuquerque last night, because now that he’s back out on the ball field baseball fans were set to show him how mad they all felt.

Right? Wrong.

The capacity crowd of 15,321 was the largest in Albuquerque’s baseball history.

Fans lined the walkway from the clubhouse as Ramirez entered the field. They gathered near the dugout, clustering for autographs, and they seemed ready to forgive Ramirez for violating baseball’s drug rules.

“People love me everywhere I go,” Ramirez said before the game. “I’m excited to bring a lot of joy to a lot of people here. I feel good. I’m happy that I’m here.”

There were scattered boos before Ramirez batted leading off but cheers began before he was introduced and grew louder when he approached the plate. Flashbulbs blinked from around the ballpark during his two at-bats.

What’s that sound I hear? It’s Bill Plaschke’s head exploding.

Nope, this isn’t the next stop on his road trip with David Ortiz. Manny is actually going to be playing baseball again. Whoo!

I’ll be honest: I thought Manny was going to come off his suspension and head back to the Dodgers and assume his position in the outfield and try to avoid all the boos from fans around the country that will be for him taking PEDs when it’s incredibly likely one of their favorite players on their squad has taken PEDs as well. But no. Manny is actually hitting the minors first before he heads back up to the big leagues, as he’s allowed to play in 10 games as a tuneup before his suspension is over July 3.

Here’s his subject-to-change schedule from the LA Times:

Manny Ramirez is tentatively scheduled to return to the playing field Tuesday with the Dodgers’ triple-A affiliate in Albuquerque, according to sources with knowledge of the situation who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the matter.

According to preliminary plans Ramirez and the Dodgers made Thursday morning, he will be in Albuquerque for a four-game series against Nashville.

Ramirez will be off June 27 and report to Class-A Inland Empire the next day. He will play in as many as three games for Inland Empire from June 28-30.

So, um, yeah, if you’ve always wanted to go to Albuquerque, (and really, isn’t this a dream for us all?) here’s your chance to go see a HOFer in a setting he’ll likely never be in again.

Book your flights now, kids.

I’m deriving particular joy from Manny Ramirez’s suspension, namely because it’s been the exact opposite of Alex Rodriguez’s recent steroid revelations. There have been no press conferences where Manny has started (fake) crying, he wasn’t seen with his supposed supplier in Spring Training, he isn’t hanging out with Kate Hudson … he’s just somewhere out there in the ether, going on road trips with David Ortiz and occasionally peeking his head out to the world. I like to think he’s been watching reruns of “Alf” all day long.

Yesterday, though, he showed up in the Dodgers clubhouse, just the second time he’s met with his teammates since the suspension. And he even apologized to fans for the first time.

But for the reporters that got inquisitive, here’s what he had to say:

“I come to say hi to the guys,” Ramirez said. “I’m just happy to be back, man.”

[ ... ]

“Whatever happened, that’s in the past,” he said. “I don’t want to be a distraction to this team. I didn’t kill nobody. I didn’t rape nobody. That’s it.”

Oh, but you have Manny, you have. Don’t you read Bill Plaschke? You’ve killed the spirit of Dodgers fans far and wide, while raping their faith in the very game of baseball. For shame.

HT: CSTB

A little bit ago, there was that brilliant campaign to vote Manny Ramirez to this year’s All-Star Game. He was in fourth, not too far back from a starter’s spot in the top three. But since then? Dude has been free-falling out of contention.

Last Monday, Ramirez was a scant 139,789 out of third place. But this Monday? He’s plummeted even further:

Manny Ramirez’s All-Star candidacy was dealt a severe blow Monday as the number of votes separating him from a starting role in St. Louis on July 14 increased by almost 100,000 in the latest balloting update.

Ramirez remained in fifth place among National League outfielders with 858,353 votes, leaving him 234,163 behind New York’s Carlos Beltran, who is in third place.

Weak. There has to be something going on here right? Bud Selig is actually subtracting votes each time you click or punch for Manny Ramirez? Maybe when you vote for Manny, it gives two votes to other NL outfielders in contention?

Or maybe since Manny was actually playing earlier in the season people voted for him. But when he got suspended, the votes stopped coming in at such a rate and he’s falling further behind.

Nah, that can’t possibly be it.