Presuming it’s OK to admit that I love the Smurfs, I’ll ask you this: remember that time when the Smurfs always used to take the word “Smurf” and replace it with every other word in their sentences and language in order to be humorous?

Well, ESPN tried that on Monday with Brett Favre playing the role of “the smurf language” and Colin Cowherd playing the role of Gargamel. Or something. Point being: Cowherd set what is, I believe, the record for the most times saying the words “Brett Favre” on a single television show.

ESPN put out a press release prior to this event, they called up the Guinness Book of World Records and they did not seem to care that it would irritate every human being on the planet that was stupid enough to tune into “SportsNation” that afternoon. Why didn’t they care? Richard Deitsch explains via Twitter:

From Nielsen: Vikings-Pack draws a 13.2 national rating. Seen by an average of 21.8 million viewers. Most-watched cable sports telecast ever

In the words of that creepy serial killer from South Park, “DO YOU SEE???? DO YOU????”

Seriously, I’m not exactly sure why I haven’t bothered accepting the fact that — and although I’m generally not superb about acceptance of crappy things sometimes, I feel a little bit better that most of the sane portions of America seem to agree with me — we cannot stop Brett Favre. We cannot kill Brett Favre. We cannot even hope to contain Brett Favre.

He is the unmovable object, etc., etc. And when he ran up against the Vikings on Monday Night Football (if this was the NBA, I’d be blog-winking at David Stern for his amazing skedding powers) everyone watched. Everyone. So, trust me peeps, just follow my lead and stop caring. It feels a lot better even if it shouldn’t.

People are in freakout mode right now because of Rodney Harrison’s comments last night about Tom Brady: “… if you’re listening, take off the skirt and put on some slacks. Toughen up.” Ouch. Burn. Boom. Etc., etc. Cue the video:

But here’s the thing: Harrison PLAYED WITH BRADY. They are friends. And, at least according to Dan Patrick on his radio show this morning, as soon as the 42 members of Sunday Night is Football Night in America Halftime Spectravaganza Show left the set, Brady and Harrison were texting each other about how humorous his line was.

Now, granted, there are lots of issues with the way that referees are calling games these days; I don’t think anyone wants Tom Brady just freewheelin’ around while everyone else on the field is forced to stare at him knowing that any sort of “tackling” or “rough-housing” will result in a 75-yard penalty and a $40 million fine.

At the same time, however, people also need to understand that Harrison is the prototypical type of “inflammatory” announcer, brought on for his ability to say things that will piss people off. Basically like the Gregg Doyel of NBC, and being heard by way more people. So, nation, please just ignore him when he says mean stuff about the Dreamboat — he’s either doing it purely out of jest or he’s trying to incite you into a riot. And if you respond, he’s going to win. And that’s no good for anyone.

No one with any semblance of brain matter floating around their skull would ever dare question the fact that Randy Moss is one of the most talented wideouts (even perhaps players) in the history of the NFL. It’s not an issue that’s up for debate.

However, anyone who watched Moss play with the Raiders knows that he can become a touch, ahem, lethargic when he’s not happy. But I watched Tom Brady stumble through a win against the Falcons on Sunday (at times overthrowing Moss) and even at one point thought, “But there’s no way he could ever become angry now, he’s got Tom Freaking Brady throwing him the ball.” Well, I might be wrong, judging by Mike Freeman’s latest column over at CBS Sports, which is quite a fascinating peek at Moss on-field behavior.

CBSSports.com charted every Moss play against the Falcons, and on a significant number of them, Moss either didn’t block or generated a lackluster blocking effort. On other plays, when the ball wasn’t going to him, Moss jogged some of his routes.

Now, this is certainly an interesting study in human behavior, but it doesn’t tell us much of anything new; a substantial portion of the human population tries harder at whatever they do when there’s more at stake. It’s the equivalent of someone starting to work their ass off when “the Bobs” come to town, while muddling through normal day activity.

What is interesting is the football strategy behind it. You see, the Falcons apparently recognized Moss’ tendencies ahead of time, and as Freeman mentioned later in his column, they would double him whenever he broke from the line with enthusiasm, and they would leave him in single coverage whenever he came off lethargically.

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Adam Dunn struck out the other night as the Washington Nationals gave way to Randy Johnson’s 300th career win. It’s not like it’s crazy to see Dunn strike out, of course — and even though he was looking, it’s worth noting that he’s usually a bit heavy on the walking anyway. But more to the point: some people thought that Dunn’s strikeout was the umpire’s attempt at hustling Johnson to a win because of the location of the pitch when it crossed the plate.

One of those people was Rob Dibble (DIBBZ 4EVA!), who stated, via Federal Baseball, that an umpire “can’t just call strikes because a guy is going for his 300th victory,” which, obviously, is a bit over the top; he’s a broadcaster, and regardless of whether he’s broadcasting for a team that he’s pulling for, he shouldn’t being accusing the umps (ON AIR!) of what essentially amounts to cheating.

Rob Neyer, of ESPN fame, disagreed (like everyone else) and wrote as much:

“There simply wasn’t any (good) reason for anyone in the dugout — of for that matter, the broadcast booth — to get worked up over a borderline pitch that was quite possibly called correctly.”

Yeah, that’s pretty simple, right? Well, it was … until Neyer decided to take a potshot at the Nats’ announcer:

Really, I just wanted an excuse to write about Rob Dibble. For years, I was less than a fan of his work at various networks. So you can imagine my shock, when I realized that I sort of like him in his current role with the Nationals. Yes, he’s still a blowhard who believes that if you didn’t play the game, you don’t know anything about it. But he’s got a good voice, he’s quite a bit smarter than you probably think, and he’s not been pulling his punches while the Nationals have become the biggest joke in the game.

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Lane Kiffin has already done the unimaginable. No, not the individually stupid stuff he’s managed to be embarrassed for since arriving in Knoxville, Tennessee; he’s actually somehow given Al Davis a modicum of credibility for getting rid of him. And that notion was only furthered during a recent “Outside the Lines” segment, where Bob Ley may have busted Kiffin for a(nother) secondary recruiting violation … on television.

Dave Link of GoVolsXtra has the street-word:

“Now, Kiffin’s arrival has brought several secondary NCAA violations,” Ley said. “It is entirely possible that you just saw another one. Remember the scene where Lane Kiffin is speaking with a recruit?

“Well, in the infamously thick NCAA rulebook, Rule 13.0.1, (it states) media members cannot observe recruiting contact by coaches. Tennessee tells Outside the Lines it is reviewing this matter. The NCAA is reserving comment until the story airs, so we look forward to hearing from them today (Sunday).”

So, to be more clear … ESPN approached Lane Kiffin about appearing in a segment on television. Kiffin, who obviously passed his recruiting test with flying colors, somehow manages, in the course of this segment being filmed, to speak with a recruit.

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I mentioned about a week ago that Bert Blyleven was going to eat nightcrawlers on television in the name of raising money to fight Parkinson’s. This was no joke, despite the nasty nature of such an enterprise. Well, he actually did eat the worms and the video is now live on the Interwebz. I recommend not watching this if you’re visiting us on your lunch break.

HT: Sportress of Blogitude