Around this time of year, Major League Baseball doles out heaps of awards. Two MVPs, Cy Youngs, Rookies of the Year, and Rolaids Relief Men of the Year, as well as eighteen Gold Gloves and Silver Sluggers. Not to mention all the auxiliary/humanitarian trophies. If distributed evenly, every tax-paying American would be entitled to approximately 2.6 Major League Baseball awards.

However, these laurels only commemorate exceptional play. These players couldn’t be the best, were it not for the mediocre players below them on the totem pole. With that in mind, I’d like to introduce the first annual Statistical Mean awards. These awards are meant to recognize the most average, middle-of-the-mountain players. These players’ performances, by definition, are the collective performances of all the players in baseball; the consummation of baseball’s best and worst. An award is given to a position player and pitcher in each league.

This year’s winners:

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