The Yankees are trying to get every good, available pitcher under the sun. After they scooped up CC Sabathia to the tune of seven years and $161 million, they’ve apparently got their sights on A.J. Burnett, Derek Lowe and maybe even Ben Sheets, too.

This of no matter, though. Because Ozzie Guillen has the quote of the day on the Sabathia deal:

“Wow!” gushed Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen. “For $161 million I could put two teams on the field. I just want to be his agent. Heck, I just want to be his wife.”

Ozzie Guillen, for the win.

For as much as I bemoaned the strategy of Ozzie Guillen yesterday, there’s no denying he’s a fun-loving, charismatic guy. Dude keeps it real. Sox fans like him because of this. The rest of the country is waiting for what outrageous thing he’s going to say next. And, for the purposes of my own self-interest and this post, let’s pretend he has no detractors or people that think he’s a loud-, foul-mouthed idiot.

Because he’s apparently quite the hit in Vegas.

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen hasn’t lost his popularity since playing for the Las Vegas Stars in 1984.

Guillen was frequently stopped while walking around the Bellagio by several baseball officials, personalities and fans.

Among the well-wishers was comedian Jeff Ross. But Guillen said he received a firm hug last night from former Sox manager Terry Bevington, who is seeking a job.

Jeff Ross!?!? That’s like a modern-day Sinatra right there. If Guillen decides to stay in Vegas and become a blackjack dealer, I’m sure he’d have no trouble fitting right in.

If there is one thing somewhat grating about Ozzie Guillen, it is his consistent refusal to just stand up and say: “Oh hey media guys, guess what? My teams have hit a lot of home runs the last few years. In fact, those homers coupled with insane pitching for a few weeks won us a World Series. And you know what? That’s OK. Because you know what happens every time you hit a home run? You score at least one run, sometimes even more! Sure, I like to bunt, and hit and run, and sacrifice fly, but I’m quite alright with all the homers.”

But no, Ozzie Guillen does not say things like that. He says he’s going to bunt and hit and run when it’s not needed. He also says things like this.

“I don’t think I’m going to miss power,” Guillen said.

[ ... ]

“The last couple of years we relied too much on home runs and power, and right now, the way baseball is going, we had to get better for not just this year, but 2009, 2010, 2011. That’s why we have to get those kids on track and make it happen.”

For a team that scored the sixth most runs in all of baseball last year largely via the home run (as the Sox were first in MLB with 235 homers), I can’t see why you’d be OK with losing any of that.

But hey, maybe Guillen is wising up and realizing it’s OK to be a bit more balanced. That, for once, would be nice.

Nick Swisher is obviously no longer a member of the Chicago White Sox. And one would think that, following a pretty GD good year for the Pale Hose — even if it wasn’t a personally successful one for Swish — Ozzie Guillen would shower him with some love now that he’s out of town and no longer really affects the fate of Chicagoans.

But then you would be forgetting that this is Ozzie we’re talking about.

It was hard because when we brought him here, a lot of people were excited [that] he would have a great career with the White Sox, but we got to the point that we went through the roster … and we had a right fielder, left fielder, first baseman and DH. It was hard for us to find a place for him.

Was Swisher a bad influence in the clubhouse late in the year?

You’ve got to ask the players about that. To be honest with you, I was not happy with the way he was reacting at the end of the season. He wasn’t helping me either.

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If there is one overriding theme of the White Sox’s offseason so far — besides “we couldn’t wait to get Nick Swisher out of here fast enough” — it’s that they’re going young. Well, not so much that they’re completely retooling the roster to cut costs and start anew. It’s more they are going to instill more trust in the likes of some of their guys that have only seen sporadic playing time the last few years. (Or haven’t been on the team at all yet.)  I’ll let Ozzie explain:

What about starting Josh Fields at third, Chris Getz or Jayson Nix at second and Jerry Owens or Brian Anderson in center?

I love it. For two reasons: I think we have the [veteran] people [and] we can still compete; and we have to say to the minor-league coaches, instructors and scouts [that] those kids deserve it. They have enough credentials to play here. … They have to play good enough in spring training to convince me they can play in the big leagues. We’re not going to do this just to go young, go cheaper. We want to give those kids a shot. If they don’t take [advantage], they’re not going to get in.

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Everyone hold your horses: voting was conducted before the playoffs. And if this is the sample size in which we are going to judge the NL manager of the year, Lou Piniella, he of conducting the Cubs orchestra to the best record in the NL, deserved this award. It’s his third time winning, as he netted two during his tenure in Seattle.

Rays manager Joe Maddon won the AL manager of the year — which should come as no surprise. Ozzie Guillen finished fifth in the AL, and even putting my Sox fan bias aside, I think that’s pretty weak sauce. The Sox weren’t expected to do a darn thing this year, and they greatly exceeded expectations.  Show Ozzie some love, people.

But then I realize these awards are contrived and frivolous, and I calm down.

Piniella wins manager of the year; Ozzie finishes fifth

I am on record: I didn’t expect this White Sox team to be anything other than average. They had untested starting pitching in the form of John Danks and Gavin Floyd; they had aging stars in Jermaine Dye, Jim Thome and Paul Konerko (and later Ken Griffey Jr.); their big offseason acquisitions were Orlando Cabrera, an oft-injured Diamondbacks outfielder named Carlos Quentin and a nobody named Alexei Ramirez from Cuba. Couple that with the Yankee-like roster of the Tigers, the emergence of the Indians and the mere presence of the always pesky Twins, and this Sox team did not seem poised for an AL Central title.

But expectations can be deceptive. They can be wrong. The Tigers and Indians woefully underachieved. Carlos Quentin and Alexei Ramirez became integral parts of the White Sox lineup. (Quentin until his injury, was perhaps the AL MVP candidate. Alexei Ramirez has a good shot at Rookie of the Year.) And those aging vets? Jermaine Dye played out of his mind, while Jim Thome smacked 34 homers. Floyd flirted with a no-hitter or two and Danks became a big-game pitcher, hurling a gem in the White Sox’s one-game playoff against the Twins. Ozzie Guillen was Ozzie Guillen and kept this team in check.

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A veteran of the Chicago beat reporting scene, David Schuster regularly writes about the sights and sounds of Chicago sports from the press box and locker room for MOUTHPIECE Blog.

Besides being a sports reporter in the best city in the world, I feel I have a new job as an undertaker. I was up close and personal to witness the deaths of both Chicago baseball teams in the span of 48 hours. First, it was the Cubs out in Los Angeles. Then, after jetting back across the country, it was the White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field.

Though the finality of their seasons is parallel, how the two teams reacted to their elimination was a world of difference. You could tell from watching the Cubs in the third and final game that they were like condemned men walking the plank, just ready to drop into the ocean. The Cubs players were sitting down seemingly knowing the end was near. Conversely, the Dodgers were up in the dugout and leaning over the railing.  Afterwards in the clubhouse, the players all came up with their Bull Durham cliche answers and didn’t really look upset at their somewhat embarrassing play in the NLDS.

The White Sox, on the other hand, were mentally into the game until the last out. The jocularity which has been a staple under Ozzie Guillen continued throughout. In fact, Guillen and Mark Buehrle were throwing sunflower seeds at pitching coach Don Cooper during most of the game.
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If we know anything about Ozzie Guillen, it’s that he does not like playing second trombone to the Cubs in this great city. (A warranted, if not somewhat misguided stance.) But instead of jumping on the grave of the Cubs season yesterday, he (publically) opened up his heart to the team.

“Cubs fans shouldn’t forget how great this summer was for them,” Guillen said.

“You look at [the players'] faces and the way they talk, I feel for them. I went through it. I have friends over there, and I know how the people in this city are. The expectations were so high. I don’t know how they handled it. Am I happy or sad? No. I have a couple of friends there, and I know how badly they wanted to win it.”

Isn’t that special. He even sent a text of encouragement to Carlos Zambrano too.

HOWEVA, the New York Post reports Ozzie blurted: “Oh, [bleep] the Cubs!” to a Sox employee as he left the interview room.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

The Chicago White Sox are a 1/2 game back from the Minnesota Twins for the final playoff spot and the American League Central crown. Math majors and general scholars of common sense may be saying “Well, how the F did that happen in a 162 game season?”

Excellent question. It’s because we get some bonus baseball. Not necessarily overtime — it’s not “free,” because it’s included in the original price — but today at 1:05 p.m. CST, the White Sox and Tigers will square off in a rain delay makeup that will decide the fate of at least one team.

Gavin Floyd will take the mound and he will face (irony alert!) Freddy Garcia, who has pitched a game or 82 for the Pale Hosers in the past. And A.J. Pierzynski at least thinks the Tigers will be excited.

“I’m sure they aren’t real happy to have to come here and play this game,” said White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski. “I’m sure a lot of them would be hoping they would be home now. They will come in here and want to kick our tails, and we have to go out there with the same attitude and try to do it to them.”

Yes. Clearly the Tigers will want to extract revenge for not being able to go on vacation early. Atta way, A.J. Now, personally, I believe in nature’s inherent ability to draw out drama — it would be just too easy to let the ChiSox choke within the basic structure of the regular season.

Instead, we will get a playoff. And it will be awesome, because it will occur during a time when there is no football. And someone will win. And someone will lose. But it will be bonus baseball and it will remind us that Oct-TO-ber is here and that playoff baseball is wonderful again. And maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll get some North-South action like you see above.