Michael Jordan likely wants you to think so! (That assumes Michael Jordan still sells cologne. Can you still get that stuff? It was an awesome Christmas gift when I was a kid.) But this isn’t about Michael Jordan, or his marginal cologne. This is about a 2009 freestyle skiing champion Michelle Roark, who is convinced positive smells can make you a better athlete. Her rationale seems slightly, um, unscientific:

Ms. Roark, who is two classes short of a chemical engineering degree from the Colorado School of Mines, is convinced that the scent from a patent-pending perfume blend that she developed and calls “Confidence” is as important to her success as a good night’s sleep. Before competing, she douses her neck-warmer in the natural fragrance and spritzes it on the back of her neck and behind her ears. “It’s scientifically proven that smell is closest to our emotions and our memories,” Ms. Roark said during an interview this week from Switzerland, where she is training for the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. “Why shouldn’t we use it?”

Well, OK, sure. It’s scientifically proven that smell is close to emotions and memories. I mean, I assume that is scientifically proven. I am granting Ms. Roark the benefit of the doubt. I actually have no idea. But assuming it is scientifically proven, what does that have to do with skiing down a mountain? Or in other sports? What good will that do when I’m on the basketball court? Beyond the basic comfort level of knowing that I smell exactly the same every time I hit the gym, cologne isn’t going to make me run faster or jump higher or suddenly possess a better mechanical release on my jump shot. I just won’t smell as sweaty and gross. Why does that help me, again?

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