What is it with supposedly tough men crying these days? Football coaches and hockey players are supposed to be, like, the toughest, scariest dudes on the planet. But there was Patrick Kane, standing outside the courtroom with his Mummy and Daddy, crying like a little schoolgirl because he got in trouble. You’re on the cover of NHL 09! Unacceptable!

And now here’s Rich Rodriguez, standing at a podium blubbering like an idiot because his program — wrongly, perhaps, but still — is in dire trouble. As Tony Soprano once said, what happened to Gary Cooper? The strong, silent type? This is just irritating:

At a news conference in Ann Arbor, Rodriguez became emotional and had to gather himself several times with glassy eyes as he denied any wrongdoing. “I guess I’m here to tell you that whatever you’ve heard or want to believe, the trust is that this coaching staff cares very deeply about the young men in our program,” he said.

I sort of believe Rodriguez, so maybe the whole crying thing works, but still. Have some dignity, man. You’re no better than the girl who cries her way out of a traffic ticket, or the little boy who breaks his toys and cries until he gets a new one. Same function, same execution, same watery residue.

If I’ve said this to my theoretical future children once, I’ve said it to my theoretical future children a thousand times: Crying only makes it worse. Take your punishment like the adult version of whatever gender you will be. (Hopefully it’s one or the other!)

Yesterday, the blogosphere was on fire about Greg Paulus working out for the Green Bay Packers. Our own Will Brinson wrote about it, and also mapped out some potential life choices for the former Duke point guard. One such choice — since Paulus does have a year of football eligibility left, if he so desires — was to play a season at the collegiate level.

After last night, this option seems a bit more near. Fox Sports’ Jeff Goodman, via @umhoops, is reporting Paulus was in Ann Arbor yesterday morning meeting with Rich Rodriguez about playing quarterback for the Michigan Wolverines. I gchatted said link to Eamonn. What follows was our discussion. I cleaned it up a bit because we used the f-word some, and because it’s sometimes hard to slug through an IM chat in its original state.

Onwards:

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Anytime you inherit a storied program with a long history of winning and tradition and all that jazz, you better keep the boat moving at the same speed in the same direction, or fans are going to go bonkers — oftentimes unjustifiably so. (One time I almost saw two kids fist fight over Mike Davis in the stands at an Indiana game. Looks like the guy yelling “Fire Davis” got the better end of that deal.)

So it goes for Rich Rodriguez this year at Michigan. He came in as the Next Big Thing — well, maybe second to Les Miles — and the Wolverines have been absolutely wretched this year to the tune of 3-8. With the Buckeyes being the heavy favorites for the UM-OSU tilt this weekend and the Wolverines destined for their fifth loss in a row to their rivals, Rich Rod has some words for you fans out there:

“It’s amazing some of the things that people would say [on a message board] or yell at you of a personal nature,” Rodriguez said Monday. “You almost want to tell them, ‘Get a life.’

“There’s a whole lot bigger problems. Look at the economy.”

Rich, your comments are not without some warrant. But dude, a word of advice: you took over the head coaching job at Michigan. And you’re not doing so hot yet. These people love them some football. Do not insult them. Do not “almost tell them to get a life.” Thank them for their continued support as you flounder through this season and tell them to stick with you as it will only get better from here.

Or, you know, tell them to worry about the economy. Either works.

Also see: Can’t Stop the Bleeding, Deadspin