As you read this, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and Seahawks coach Jim Mora are scaling Mount Rainier, the tallest mountain in the contiguous 48 states.

“I’ve never done any mountaineering. I’ve barely climbed a hill,” Goodell told The Associated Press last month, laughing while talking about his attempt. “Well, I always love a good challenge.

“I must say, I’m not exactly sure what I’m in for.”

This doesn’t sound like a recreational endeavor to me. Usually, a guy with no mountain climbing experience isn’t going to try to climb Mount Rainier. This is clearly a man on a quest. Why Commissioner Goodell, of all people? What is he looking for? My best guesses:

1,394 feet: Snow monster that will serve as adequate replacement for John Madden in the broadcast booth

3,006 feet: Present whereabouts of Shaun Alexander’s career

4.653 feet: 900-year-old frozen corpse, still clutching instructions for more efficient overtime system

7,889 feet: The Kansas City Chiefs’ home broadcast area (26 square feet, guarded by wolves)

9,476 feet: Legend has it that a cave-dwelling man “is real happy about what Romeo Crennel is doing with those Browns, real happy”

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Twitter is a cool phenomenon for fans of sports in the sense that we get to interact with athletes who were previously untouchable. It’s awesome that media barriers have been broken down, blahblahblah, and that we are finally just 140 characters away from the tingling excitement of talking with our heroes.

Enter Chad Ochocinco Javon Walker Johnson … or whatever he’s calling himself these days. No. 85 embraced Twitter like no other athlete before him (even Shaq, folks) and why not? If you’re famous, it’s the ultimate way in which to build up tiny little blocks of self esteem each day via the Internet.

Of course, the natural progression was for Chad to begin Tweeting during games. Wait — no it’s not. But that’s what he’s trying to do anyway.

It’s big for me and I’m taking it a step further. I have my own application coming out where people will be able to interact and follow me. You know more than through just the keyboard and reading my messages - you’ll actually be able to follow me and when the season starts, it’s going to get even worse. I’m going to really make it fun. I’m using Twitter during games, during halftime, after the games. I’m going to be taking it to the next level.

Now, pardon me for being negative here, Chad, but I’d be willing to bet that Roger Goodell will have some super-fantastic, authoritative way of telling you “Hells to the no” on that whole “tweeting from the sidelines” thing; there’s zero chance that he’s going to give Ochocinco a chance to tell the world what he’s planning on doing for a touchdown celebration moments before he takes the field.

Besides, if he allowed Twitter on the field, that would open up a terrifyingly huge can of worms. And naturally, the league has already spoken! Via PFT, the NFL states that they will “look into that one.”

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Michael Vick has dealt with more than his fair share of trouble over the past few years; really, when you think about the fact that he’s been in prison for forcing dogs to fight, it’s almost more surreal than anything.

It was also obvious that whenever he got out of the slammer, he wouldn’t be the Falcons’ quarterback. If “jail time” didn’t ensure that, Matt Ryan’s emergence last year certainly did. And now it’s all but guaranteed, as NFL.com is reporting that Vick and Atlanta have reached a buyout.

Of course, unlike normal buyouts, Vick is not getting paid. Instead, he’s paying the Dirty Birds (at least) $6.5 million dollars just in time for his bankruptcy hearing, which should allow the franchise to release him, so  the Bears the rest of the NFL can, um, fight over his services.

“To resolve uncertainty over the amount of the Falcons’ claim, the parties have determined that the Falcons will receive an allowed general unsecured claim in the debtor’s bankruptcy case in the amount of $7.5 million,” said the filing, which was entered last week. “If the district court’s ruling is ultimately affirmed on appeal, the amount of the Falcons’ claim will be reduced to $6.5 million.”

In other words, Vick’s on the hook for at most about $7.5 million. Which is pretty good considering the Falcons originally had a claim for well over $20 million in terms of what they felt Vick owed them. In my opinion, it was a pretty strong claim, Vick’s pending bankruptcy notwithstanding.

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Anyone who is a commissioner of a professional sports league makes a ton of money. It comes with the territory, the scrutiny, the hard work and the part about getting to be famous but not really popular. The cash, however, isn’t always deserved.

Witness Bud Selig (who I like about as much as E likes that Albom guy who writes those dumb porridge books) and his tremendous $18 million salary, every penny of it undeserved. Roger Goodell, on the other hand, “only” makes $11 million. And while that’s obviously still too much, at least he brings something to the table. Oh yeah, and he’s willing to take a pay cut!

Believing it will take a collective sacrifice from his league to help beat this economic crisis, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will take a pay cut for the league fiscal year that ends March 31, a league official confirmed Friday.

Goodell’s compensation is expected to be down 20-25 percent, with the commissioner’s bonus to be determined later this spring.

Schefter also mentions that Goodell is freezing his salary, meaning he won’t receive his automatic raise this year. I mean, WHAT. A. GUY. HUH?

OK, part of me wants to be really sarcastic about this (see above) and to mock him for cutting his salary down to … um (/does math) … “just” $8-9 million. But it’s kind of hard considering that he’s lopping off 25 percent of the annual money he makes in order to lead by example.

The truth is it’s a strong move and one that Bud Selig doesn’t have the backbone or testicular fortitude to make. Of course, Goodell lacks the spine to let an All-Star Game end in a tie, so there’s that.

There is a blogospheric consensus, one which might bleed into actual sportswriterdom, that the Pro Bowl is a giant yawner. A borefest. A waste of time. I certainly never watch, and I don’t know anyone who does. At this point, the most suspense comes from checking out how big Chris Berman’s Hawaiian shirt is this year. Those things are naturally big anyway. You could sail to Honolulu with Berman’s.

Roger Goodell, in his infinite authoritarian wisdom, likely recognizes this about the Pro Bowl. He’s fixin’ to do something about it: In 2010, the Pro Bowl will be played before the Super Bowl in Miami. The Hawaii governor said she was “disappointed in the decision” but understood it was on a one-year “test basis.” The mayor of Honolulu seems less upset:

“It’s not that this comes as a surprise,” Hannemann said. “The NFL has made it known for some time now that they were looking for some sort of rotational basis. We just need to get a new agreement with the NFL, whether it’s every year or every two years or every three years. The ball’s in our court to get that done.”

One wonders what the players would rather do. Honolulu’s a great paid vacation, but plenty of players have chosen to skip the Pro Bowl in recent years to rest at home, or spend time with family, that sort of thing. Would that number increase if the Pro Bowl was during Super Bowl week? Would it drop? Would players themselves be more enthusiastic knowing the game was on a larger stage?

More importantly, does the NFL care about what players think? No, it does not. Fans? More so. It will be up to them whether the new-old format really takes hold, or if we can keep counting the stitches on Berman’s Hawaiians each year. It really is a sight to see.

Drunken fans at professional football games have become an increasingly difficult problem for the authorities to deal with; at college games, you  just threaten to toss them out of the university or make them do community service. But in the NFL, it’s a little harder to discipline fans.

Which is why the NFL is attempting to take the power back and put it in your, the fan, hands. Because the new-era National Football League is all about caring. And being soft.

Goodell’s rules — the result of rising concern that fan misconduct was driving some people from games — say that patrons who are drunk or disruptive, who use foul language or make obscene gestures or who verbally or physically harass other fans can be refused admission to games, or kicked out of them without refunds. Such fans also can be stripped of their season tickets.

[...]Fans still are urged to complain to an usher or call a security hotline in the stadium to report unruly behavior. But text-messaging lines — typically advertised on stadium scoreboards and on signs where fans gather — are aimed at allowing tipsters to surreptitiously alert security personnel via cellphone without getting involved with rowdies or missing part of a game.

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Oh hey, fair Americans out there. You know how football is pretty much indestructible, with the insane TV contracts and ratings and how Forbes, in September, called the sport “the richest game” and “the strongest sport in the world.”

Well, they’re laying off 150 people because of the recession.

Goodell announced the cuts in a memo to league employees. The NFL is eliminating about 150 of its staff of 1,100 in New York, NFL Films in New Jersey and television and Internet production facilities in Los Angeles.

“These are difficult and painful steps,” he wrote in the memo. “But they are necessary in the current economic environment. I would like to be able to report that we are immune to the troubles around us, but we are not. Properly managed, I am confident the NFL will emerge stronger, more efficient and poised to pursue long-term growth opportunities.”

As Roger Goodell notes here, there is literally nothing going unaffected by the current economic crisis. Except for the Cubs, of course. The Cubs aren’t affected by anything.