OK, there’s no actual team in Zion, Illinois. And there’s no name for the team that doesn’t exist. But Kevin Costner is bringing them to Zion anyway. Why? Because he can’t get a movie studio to sign off on his next “This Is What I Really Wish My Life Had Been Like” movie, and the only other logical step is to purchase a minor league baseball team.

Or to buy a motorcycle. He opted for the former.

Starting the team is “kind of a way to be associated with baseball other than being a washed up catcher,” the actor said, referring to his role as Durham Bulls catcher Crash Davis in the classic baseball film “Bull Durham.”

“I just enjoy the way the game is played,” Costner said in this morning’s interview, “and I love to play it myself.”

Oh. No. He wouldn’t … would he? Answer: Yes, Costner would totally buy a minor league team just to see if he could make the roster. Don’t put it past him.

In reality, it’ll probably be awesome to be on this team; Costner won’t be afraid to chunk money at making the squad popular and you have to imagine that his legions of corn-bred fans in the Midwest will stream through the gates looking for him to sign stalks of corn or something.

The only potential downside is that Costner might have banked on using the money from sales of Waterworld’s two disc extended edition — re-released today and already on sale! — to fund this little project. Because then it’s … sunk … from the start.