It was a couple of nights ago now, but I want to go back to the Cubs’ extra-innings win against the Astros on Soriano’s 439-foot monster grand slam to center. After he hit the home run, Soriano watched it, then pointed to his family, then did his John Cena-inspired “you can’t see me” wave as he rounded the bases.

I had the misfortune to spend a bunch of time in the car the next morning, and I spent it listening to sports radio, which is usually a bad move. That was definitely true that morning. The hosts on the Score’s morning show were talking about how classless Soriano was, and there was a sentiment among the callers I heard both to their show and the next one that Soriano should be hit by a pitch the next night for what they saw as excessive celebration.

There are a few of thoughts I have on the subject.

1. In the real world, it doesn’t work that way. Even if the celebration was over the line, that doesn’t justify violence against Soriano. No matter how jerky he acts, doing something that could seriously hurt him is way over the line. If someone says something rude to you in a bar and you hit them, there’s a good chance you’re going to spend the night in jail, and you should. Unwritten rules of baseball, integrity of the game, blah blah blah. I don’t think it’s right to use violence against someone for being a jerk, and I’m amazed that other people apparently have no problem with it.
2. He wasn’t being a jerk anyway. Was it really that over the line? He watched the home run, but so what? He’d just hit a grand slam to win the game in extra innings. And he murdered the ball. The only person who wasn’t watching it was Michael Bourn, who just started running off the field when he hit it. And then he pointed at his kid. This wasn’t exactly monstrous. Then he did that hand wave, which he does to the crowd in the left field bleachers before every game.
3. If you call yourself a Cubs fan and you want the guy who just hit your walkoff grand slam to get drilled the next day, I’m not sure you’re really a fan of the team. Wanting to see one of your best players potentially hurt after he just won you a huge game is an awfully strange way of supporting the team.
4. Cecil Cooper is smarter than all of the people who thought Soriano should be drilled. Teams don’t play baseball to get revenge for hurt feelings, they play to win games. A hit-by-pitch has a run value of .342 or so. Another way to think of that is on average, if you hit a guy, about a third of the time he’s going to score. Is it really worth spotting the other team a run just because your feelings got hurt? Given that Soriano has come to the plate seven times since he hit that grand slam and Cooper hasn’t ordered him hit, obviously he doesn’t think so.